If a man were looking for relationship advice, you’d think he could do better than Bill Maher. The guy seems allergic to a committed monogamous relationship, instead opting for a series of flings with Playboy Cyber Girls, swimsuit models and ex-Juggy Dancers from The Man Show. Then again, maybe this is exactly the kind of “relationship expert” some guys are looking for.

Whether anyone wants his love advice or not, Maher was dishing it out as part of his New Rules this week. Like a modern-day Mystery from The Pick-Up Artist, Maher laid out his G.A.M.E. method for succeeding with the ladies, an acronym that signals the cringe he’s about to share with America’s eligible bachelors.

Dressed in his seduction clothes (an ill-fitting black T-shirt and gray sweatpants), Maher stood before a Ted Talk sign to signal his lecture. He got things off to...