Robert Rodriguez strikes (out) again. Stringing together some cruel moments of gore with lame comedy, a few bare breasts (how people can rave about the copious nudity in this movie when there's hardly anything on show is beside me), heavy-handed political satire which makes his sincere message come across as racist stupidity and some of the least exciting action scenes ever, Machete is a complete failure. Acting performances are weak across the board, and Danny Trejo is a frightening figure, yet he doesn't cut it (ooh, look, I made a pun) as an interesting lead character. He doesn't have the charisma to transcend the extreme simplicity of the character. And while I know he could crush me with his bare hands, he certainly doesn't convince when going up against villainous henchmen half his age. The finale is the worst part of the film. The heroic Mexicans attack the racist American vigilantes, and much slaughter ensues, but without any tension at all, with extremely weak choreography and telegraphed 'cool' moments referencing 'classic' exploitation characters which are largely embarrassing. Nothing is quite as embarrassing as the final battle between Trejo and Steven Seagal, though. No choreography to speak of, shot and edited in the least effective way (I've seen better fights in TV-series), and with an utterly lame ending, it has absolutely no redeeming features. Except that it's short (barely one minute of screen time). Maybe one day Rodriguez will accept the fact that he can't write or tell stories, and start working from scripts by other people who can. Until that day, we'll be stuck with crap like Machete, however.