It's all well and good to note the proliferation of extra low-grade genre flicks since the advent of the Internet; outfits like The Asylum and Uncork'd Entertainment may be the biggest offenders, but they're hardly alone. Yet cheap schlock has been around in cinema nearly as long as the medium itself, and so has the endeavor to make a quick buck by riding on the coattails of bigger features. So the fact that TV movie 'Gargantua' premiered at the same time in 1998 as the weakly received 'Godzilla' starring Matthew Broderick - well, that alone says a lot about this title. This doesn't inherently mean that the picture can't be worthwhile on its own merits; on the other hand, as soon as we start watching, our assumptions are confirmed: this is pretty awful.
The pacing is recklessly swift. The writing is blunt, forthright, and forced, and bereft of all tact or nuance in every capacity: narrative, scene writing, dialogue, characters. The plot is common and contrived - it could mostly be swapped in and out of countless other titles, including kids' movies - and feels ever more inauthentic and ordinary for the fact of being forced through a grinder and thereby squashing any possible subtlety that could feasibly foster sincerity and uniqueness. Character background, emotive beats, action thrills, adventure; emphasizing the good vibes on the island that precede monster attacks, the amazement of this or that person at the course of events, sudden effusive scientific language describing something no one has ever seen before, or "revelations" about the origins of the monster: no matter what it is the film is trying to do in a moment, the result at all points is staggeringly brusque, terribly strained, and altogether overwrought. The more the title tries to embellish an inclusion, the worse it is in execution. This is as true of Bradford May's direction as it is of Ronald Parker's screenplay, and the acting in turn. Emile Hirsch may be a star in his own right now, but at thirteen years old when this was released, he comes off just as poorly as everyone else involved. Julie Carmen arguably gives the best performance, but then again, maybe it just seems like it because she has less time on-screen, and therefore doesn't suffer the same ill effects as much as her co-stars.
Seen at a glance the creature design is fine; as has been true elsewhere in horror and sci-fi, the more a creation is showcased, the more the artifice shines through. As far as that goes, I think low-budget B-movies of the 1950s might actually be the best point of comparison. In fairness, this probably has more to do with all those same issues I've mentioned above rather than the work of the effects artists behind the scenes, but that doesn't change the tawdry nature of the overall presentation. Practical effects are fine, but impacted by the rushed, frenzied, specious tenor of the production at large, and this absolutely extends to the editing and cinematography, too. Any major use of CGI - well, I don't even need to say it, do I? And for all this, the movie is also far longer than it should have been; there came a point where it felt like the experience should have thankfully almost been over, but as it turned out, I was only halfway through. At least in the last third there comes a scene that's so overdone and predictably melodramatic as to inspire laughter.
Flagrantly overcooked in too many ways, and terribly stale, undistinguished, and unremarkable in others, there's just far too much wrong with 'Gargantua' for it to be enjoyable. There was a kernel of potential here, and against all odds, some genuinely good ideas. For what it tries to do and be, I commend the effort. Would that more earnest effort were applied, however, and more care. There are worse things one could watch, but at this level the distinction just doesn't matter. If you're extra bored or curious this might be worth ninety minutes of your time, but only if you're well aware of what you're getting into and seeking passive distraction, and not active engagement. Otherwise, just do yourself a favor and completely pass on 'Gargantua.'
