Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Cadillac (1996)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Morty : Alright, are you ready to eat?

  Helen : Oh, right, let's go. Jerry, let's go, it's time to eat. We're going to dinner.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Dinner? What time is it?

  Helen : It's 4:30

  Jerry Seinfeld : 4:30? Who eats dinner at 4:30?

  Morty : By the time we sit down, it'll be quarter to 5.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I don't understand why we have to eat now.

  Helen : We gotta catch the early-bird. It's only between 4:30 and 6.

  Morty : Yeah. They give you a tenderloin, a salad and a baked potato, for $4.95. You know what that cost you after 6?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Can't we eat at a decent hour? I'll treat, okay?

  Helen : You're not buying us dinner.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I'm not force-feeding myself a steak at 4:30 to save a couple of bucks, I'll tell you that!

• Jerry Seinfeld : [tossing and turning]  Stupid foldout... Why did they have the bar in the middle of the bed?

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Old people in Florida, they drive slow, and they sit low. Right? That is their motto. The state flag of Florida should be, like, a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it. And that left-turn signal on from when they left the house that morning. Right? That's a legal turn in Florida. It's known as an eventual left. And old people get to a certain age where, when they back out of the driveway... they don't look. You know what I mean? They're... They just feel like: "Well, I'm old, and I'm coming back. I survived. Let's see if you can."

• Jerry Seinfeld : Well, what d'you think?

  Morty : Look at this! Look at this! You bought a Cadillac?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I bought it for you. It's yours.

  Morty : You what? You bought me a Cadillac?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I bought you a Cadillac, here you go.

  Helen : Are you out of your mind?

  Jerry Seinfeld : What?

  Morty : You don't want it? Are you kidding?

  Helen : He's not buying us a Cadillac.

  Morty : What are you, nuts?

  Helen : It's a very nice gesture Jerry, but take it back.

  Morty : Can you believe this?

  Helen : I'm not letting him buy us a Cadillac. He hasn't got that kind of money.