The Reluctant Vampire (1991) User Reviews (10)

Different from your usual vampire story

[SleepTight666 · 8/10 · 26 July 2009]

Something else entirely. This is a very goofy episode and very different from your usual vampire story. Not the first time the show has vampires, but it is more successful and more fun.

As the title says, the episode is about a reluctant vampire working as night shift at a bloodbank. He doesn't want to kill people and falls in love with one of his co-workers.

The episode plays out very nicely in the end, and the humor is laugh-out-loud funny. The show has had more comedic episodes but most of them with the exception of 'All Through The House' are too over the top to be considered great. This one was subtle and campy in a great way.

A very comical and camp episode that twists at the end.

[blanbrn · 7/10 · 2 December 2009]

This "Tales from the crypt" episode titled "The Reluctant Vampire" from 1991's season 3 was certainly a very campy and funny episode. This tale was well remembered more for it's comedy than fright. It centers around a blood bank that's getting robbed of it's blood at night. However most notable is the appearance of stars the legendary Michael McDowell("A Clockwork Orange") and TV funny man George Wendt("Cheers"). McDowell is a lonely all night security guard of a blood bank and night after night the blood supply is drained, that's what he has for lunch in his dinner bucket! And Wendt is frustrated and wondered as he's an angry blood bank manager who has to provide answers as to where is the blood supply going. However this is the most unusual vampire he really has no bite as it's rightfully titled the reluctant vampire. However this tale takes an unexpected twist and the right things happen as mister fangs teeth of the night lives happily ever after! Overall comical and very camp like tale it's mostly remembered because of McDowell and Wendt which is a watch just for their appearances, because overall it's just an average episode.

Very entertaining comic episode

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 25 April 2011]

Meek and good-natured vampire Donald Longtooth (a terrific performance by Malcolm McDowell) lands himself the perfect job working the night shift as a security guard at a blood bank. However, obsessive vampire hunter Rupert Van Helsing (a marvelously quirky portrayal by Michael Berryman) is closing in on him. Director Elliot Silverstein relates the enjoyable story at a brisk pace, brings an appropriately splashy style to the broad material, and adroitly mines an extremely funny line in inspired offbeat humor. Terry Black's clever and engaging script boasts a few witty touches (Donald wears dentures in order to hide his fangs, has a pull out coffin, and talks to his beloved pet rat Leopold). Moreover, McDowell is an absolute riot to watch as the likable lead character, with the best moment occurring when he drinks fresh blood from a silver cup with a twist of lime in it. The supporting cast is also excellent: George Wendt as blackmailing sleazeball boss Mr. Crosswhite, Sandra Searles Dickinson as sweet smitten secretary Sally, and Paul Gleason as cynical skeptical Detective Robinson. The sharp cinematography by Levie Isaacks gives this episode a nice slick look. A total hoot.

A Cloak-work Orange

[Coventry · 22 February 2006]

Sorry but I mainly just wanted to comment this episode because I thought the review title, referring to lead actor Malcolm McDowell's most famous film as well as a vampire's favorite piece of clothing, was hilarious! And that word pretty much sums up the whole episode suitably…HILARIOUS! "The Reluctant Vampire" is probably the least bloodiest and least horrific episode of all the seven "Tales from the Crypt" seasons, but it's irresistibly comical with its splendid B-movie cast and subtle inside jokes about classic horror. McDowell (with a tiny little ponytail) is great as the fatigue vampire Longtooth who, after centuries of killing human preys, found a terrific job as a night guard in a big city blood bank where he can simply drink the red stuff from hygienic bags. However, business is slow and Longtooth is forced to go out at night and kill anyway. He's quickly suspected of vampirism by his greedy employer Crosswhite and the unstoppable Dr. Van Helsing. The latter is played by the underrated actor Michael Berryman who looks genuinely menacing again, thanks to his natural appearance and gigantic eyes. George Wendt (the legendary Norm from sitcom "Cheers") plays the role of bastard and that also means he has the best lines, like "Time's up Lugosi… What it'll be?" To state even more that the emphasis of this episode really lays on comedy, there're some cool gimmicks such as a foldaway coffin and a sexually obsessed, middle-aged secretary. "The Reluctant Vampire" is very relaxing to watch in between two gorier episodes of the same series.

Great tale from the crypt.

[poolandrews · 7/10 · 25 March 2007]

Tales from the Crypt: The Reluctant Vampire starts as it comes to light a lot of blood has been going missing from a blood bank, Donald Longtooth (Malcolm McDowell) the night watchman who happens to be a Vampire is responsible as he has a problem killing anyone. However the boss (Geaorge Wendt) is closing in on Donald's activities so he has to come up with other ideas to get the blood he needs to survive...

This Tales from the Crypt story was episode 7 from season 3, directed by Elliot Siverstein I thought The Reluctant Vampire was yet another top tale from the crypt. The script by Terry Black was based on a story from the 'The Vault of Horror' comic book & this one goes for out-and-out black comedy as it's basis. There is obviously a horror theme here being about Vampires but it's definitely played for laughs, the opening scene of Donald waking up, reaching out of his coffin & searching for his false teeth/fangs in a bowl of water on a table sets the whole tone of this episode up perfectly. The funny relationship between Van Helsing the Vampire hunter & the cop is also very funny although I felt the love story was a bit tacky but as far as the story went necessary. Another great episode with a neat twist ending that at only 30 odd minutes moves along at a nice pace & the Crypt Keeper (John Kassir) gets to dress up like Dracula & spout lots of 'pain in the neck' & 'something to sink your teeth into' type puns!

As usual this looks great with nice production values & it's well made. This one isn't really scary & apart from lots of blood in bags & a stake in someone chest it's not that gory either. The acting is good & there is yet again a strong cast including McDowell, Michael Berryman & the always very funny George Wendt.

The Reluctant Vampire isn't the goriest tale from the crypt but it's one of the most amusing & light hearted, well worth a watch.

A sillier episode but still fun.

[shellytwade · 7/10 · 7 April 2022]

You aren't going to have many people say this episode was downright terrifying or anything like that. It definitely leans towards the softer side and almost plays out alike a dark romantic comedy. It has more in common with movies like Warm Bodies than The Conjuring or anything like that. Fun!

"Sucker!"

[Foreverisacastironmess123 · 6/10 · 13 April 2016]

So in the ironic tradition of the show this episode is a humorous spin on the classic vampire lore with the vampire coming off as the most sympathetic character in a mixed-up yarn that's full of fairly antagonistic regular people. It's about a good hearted vampire who's reformed from hunting humans and who now survives by feeding on the blood supply of the blood-bank in which he works as the night watchman. He has an unusual passionate burgeoning romance with an amorous receptionist which is hampered by the telltale boner-fangs which pop out whenever he gets too close to her! Things start to get messy when the blood shortage causes suspicion and he's forced to harvest the scum of the city to replenish the blood that he's been taking, which in turn soon draws the attention of the police as well as a nutty vampire hunter who's been hot on his trail. The story ends with the vampire Donald Longtooth's boss(played by Norm from Cheers!) attempting to blackmail him into doing his bidding with a squirt gun filled with holy water, but he winds up accidentally getting staked by the vampire hunter, and then Donald is free to live with his beloved forever. As Tales From the Crypt endings go it's probably the happiest in the series, I ain't happy though. This episode is very cute but it's certainly not one of my favourites. It's very lighthearted and awfully tongue in cheek and campy, and for me most of the comedy just isn't funny. I find the gag when he's jumping on the mugger to squeeze out the blood just stupid. And I thought Sandra Dickinson's reedy ditz voice was like nails on a damn chalk board! Everything was sexy to her.. I like Malcolm Mcdowell's performance the best about it, he's very charming, I like how he plays a vampire who's almost like an ordinary guy. I love the opening scene where he crawls out of his Gothic coffin and moans about Mondays! I also like the contrast between the pretty scary Michael Berryman's old fashioned traditional(and incompetent) vampire hunter and Donald Gleason's cranky detective. There should have been a few more scenes with those two. For me not that good at all, but as Tales go it's fun enough. Just don't watch it expecting a scare!

Very good and cute episode!

[TalesfromTheCryptfan · 8/10 · 23 November 2017]

Donald Longtooth (Malcom Mcdowell) is a good natured vampire who has a night job at the local blood bank as he would never kill innocent people as he instead take some blood from the blood bank for his thirst and only kill bad people who do bad things to good people. However, his boss (George Wendt) realizes his business is almost going bankrupt and Donald falls for a lovely lady named Sally (Sandra Dickinson).

A very good and quite cute episode that co-stars Michael Barryman as a Van Helsing type of character who looks just like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit which is weird as it must be a reference to another Robert Zemeckis production since the show is produced by the same guys. Terry Black's script is funny and enjoyable and the episode co-stars Paul Gleason as well as the detective. It's a darkly comical episode that has a cute romance story, some violence and blood plus vampire action. Mcdowell is also superb as the title vampire.

A truly comedic episode with lots of laugh connected

[bellino-angelo2014 · 9/10 · 19 June 2021]

Donald Longtooth (Malcolm McDowell) is a vampire that works as the night watchman of his city's blood bank for escaping his true nature. After a while tho, the blood bank's owner Mr. Crosswhite says that the business is becoming dry and threatens his employees with layoffs for avoiding bankruptcy. So Donald is forced to return to his old ways attacking muggers and other dangerous criminals for having their blood, while dealing with the blood bank's secretary that is head-over-heels with him, vampire hunter Rupert Van Helsing (who looks a lot like Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom) and the police detectives.

Like most of this season's episodes, this was one with many funny moments (the funniest of them with Mr. Crosswhite that is found by Rupert Van Helsing in Donald's grave and is stabbed in the chest) and I couldn't help but laugh from time to time. A must see if you are into the show and you want to see something different.

Too silly

[BandSAboutMovies · 4/10 · 4 May 2024]

"I want to suck... Oh, hello kiddies. You caught me in the middle of my homework. Your old pal the Crypt Keeper's a real believer in continuing dead-ucation. Which brings us to tonight's murderous morsel. It's a juicy little tale about a real blood sucker who never learned to go for the jugular. I call this plasma play "The Reluctant Vampire.""

Directed by Elliot Silverstein (The Car, A Man Called Horse) and written by Terry Black (Dead Heat), this stars Malcolm McDowell as Daniel Longtooth, a vampire who choose to get his fix from the blood bank he works at. It's run by Mr. Crosswhite (George Wendt) and he takes every chance to be rude and mean to his workforce, saving his sexual harassment for Sally (Sandra Dickinson).

It turns out that Daniel is drinking so much that the blood bank is in danger of going out of business. He decides that he must use his vampire abilities to get victims and refill the plasma to save the job of Sally, who he is in love with.

Meanwhile, the police - led by Detective Robinson (Paul Gleason, forever a jerk in every movie) - have brought in Rupert Van Helsing (Michael Berryman, looking like Judge Doom) to hunt down the vampire who they believe is haunting the streets, draining muggers and low level criminals of their blood. What complicates matters is that Mr. Crosswhite knows that Daniel is a vampire and is using him to fix his business.

Maybe Sally knows too, as we find out in this episode's happy ending.

Terry Black wrote five episodes of this show, including three using the name Donald Longtooth. Yes, the same last name as the character in this episode.

I'm not a fan of the total comedy episodes of this show, but what can you do?