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The Shootist (1976)
A hard movie to watch yet a great one!
In the opening hours of June 11, 1979, I was listening to KDKA AM radio with my dad. In the middle of a show, the national news broke in to say that John Wayne had died.
I started crying because I always thought my grandfather was John Wayne. If the Duke could die, my grandfather could.
It was too much for a six year old child.
I'm glad the young version of me never saw The Shootist.
The last movie that Wayne would be in, this is the tale of sheriff-turned-gunfighter John Bernard "J. B." Books, a man who has killed more than thirty men and become a legend. The kind of man that people run from rather than even look at, someone who Marshal Walter Thibido (Harry Morgan) hopes he doesn't have to arrest.
He's in Carson City to visit one of the only people he trusts, Dr. E. W. "Doc" Hostetler (Jimmy Stewart), the man who once saved his life after a gunfight gone wrong. He doesn't have the energy he once did and he soon finds out that he has cancer. He has days, maybe weeks left. All he can do is take liquid painkillers and hope for the best.
Until he's taken, he plans on just living a quiet unknown existence in the home of widow Bond Rogers (Lauren Bacall), a woman who instantly dislikes him and grows to feel differently. He also ends up being a father of sorts to her son Gillom (Ron Howard) who is close to being a criminal.
Once others learn he is in town, killers come to make their names off shooting him but even in the throes of death, Books is too tough to die. He also has no interest in telling his story to reporter Dan Dobkins (Rick Lenz), even if it makes money for one of the only women he ever loved, Serepta (Sheree North).
Realizing the end is near, Books tells Gillom to bring three men to the bar. They are dairy owner Jay Cobb (Bill McKinney), a man who insulted him when he first arrived; Jack Pulford (Hugh O'Brian), a Faro dealer who was once a killing machine who needs to destroy Books to get his name back and Mike Sweeney (Richard Boone), who wants to kill Books in revenge for the death of his brother. Despite being critically wounded, Books kills all three before being shot in the back by a bartender, someone he never even figured on. Gillom takes his gun and shoots the man before throwing the revolver down. As he dies, Books smiles and nods.
Gillom walks away without a sound.
Books lived by the words "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."
Paul Newman, George C. Scott, Charles Bronson, Gene Hackman and Clint Eastwood all passed on this movie and it was thought that Wayne - who had his left lung and several ribs removed when he first had cancer - couldn't handle the role. His breathing and mobility, as well as the altitude of Carson City were challenges he had to fight. When he made Rooster Cogburn a year before, he had pneumonia so bad that he damaged his heart from how much he coughed. A lot of people thought he couldn't make this movie and his doctors almost stopped filming after he caught the flu.
He changed the ending of the book and the script. Books was supposed to kill his last opponent by shooting him in the back and would be put out of his misery by Gillom after he was shot in by the bartender. Wayne felt that he had never shot a man in the back and would not in this movie either. He also objected to his character being killed by Gillom and added the bartender shooting him in the back because "no one could ever take John Wayne in a fair fight."
Director Don Siegel told Wayne. "That's what Clint Eastwood would do."
Wayne apocryphically replied, "Well I don't like that, and I didn't like High Plains Drifter!"
There are also some great moments with Scatman Crothers as a blacksmith and a short role for John Carradine (Wayne, figuring this was his last movie, got several of his friends to act in the film) as an undertaker. Even the horse, Dollar, is Wayne's horse.
This is also one of only seven movies in which Wayne dies, along with Reap the Wild Wind, The Fighting Seabees, Wake of the Red Witch, Sands of Iwo Jima, The Alamo and The Cowboys.
The father and son relationship between Books and Gillom reminds me of the way that Tin Star takes a man ruined by a hard life and shows how he can be redeemed by how he treats a younger one.
I started crying because I always thought my grandfather was John Wayne. If the Duke could die, my grandfather could.
It was too much for a six year old child.
I'm glad the young version of me never saw The Shootist.
The last movie that Wayne would be in, this is the tale of sheriff-turned-gunfighter John Bernard "J. B." Books, a man who has killed more than thirty men and become a legend. The kind of man that people run from rather than even look at, someone who Marshal Walter Thibido (Harry Morgan) hopes he doesn't have to arrest.
He's in Carson City to visit one of the only people he trusts, Dr. E. W. "Doc" Hostetler (Jimmy Stewart), the man who once saved his life after a gunfight gone wrong. He doesn't have the energy he once did and he soon finds out that he has cancer. He has days, maybe weeks left. All he can do is take liquid painkillers and hope for the best.
Until he's taken, he plans on just living a quiet unknown existence in the home of widow Bond Rogers (Lauren Bacall), a woman who instantly dislikes him and grows to feel differently. He also ends up being a father of sorts to her son Gillom (Ron Howard) who is close to being a criminal.
Once others learn he is in town, killers come to make their names off shooting him but even in the throes of death, Books is too tough to die. He also has no interest in telling his story to reporter Dan Dobkins (Rick Lenz), even if it makes money for one of the only women he ever loved, Serepta (Sheree North).
Realizing the end is near, Books tells Gillom to bring three men to the bar. They are dairy owner Jay Cobb (Bill McKinney), a man who insulted him when he first arrived; Jack Pulford (Hugh O'Brian), a Faro dealer who was once a killing machine who needs to destroy Books to get his name back and Mike Sweeney (Richard Boone), who wants to kill Books in revenge for the death of his brother. Despite being critically wounded, Books kills all three before being shot in the back by a bartender, someone he never even figured on. Gillom takes his gun and shoots the man before throwing the revolver down. As he dies, Books smiles and nods.
Gillom walks away without a sound.
Books lived by the words "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."
Paul Newman, George C. Scott, Charles Bronson, Gene Hackman and Clint Eastwood all passed on this movie and it was thought that Wayne - who had his left lung and several ribs removed when he first had cancer - couldn't handle the role. His breathing and mobility, as well as the altitude of Carson City were challenges he had to fight. When he made Rooster Cogburn a year before, he had pneumonia so bad that he damaged his heart from how much he coughed. A lot of people thought he couldn't make this movie and his doctors almost stopped filming after he caught the flu.
He changed the ending of the book and the script. Books was supposed to kill his last opponent by shooting him in the back and would be put out of his misery by Gillom after he was shot in by the bartender. Wayne felt that he had never shot a man in the back and would not in this movie either. He also objected to his character being killed by Gillom and added the bartender shooting him in the back because "no one could ever take John Wayne in a fair fight."
Director Don Siegel told Wayne. "That's what Clint Eastwood would do."
Wayne apocryphically replied, "Well I don't like that, and I didn't like High Plains Drifter!"
There are also some great moments with Scatman Crothers as a blacksmith and a short role for John Carradine (Wayne, figuring this was his last movie, got several of his friends to act in the film) as an undertaker. Even the horse, Dollar, is Wayne's horse.
This is also one of only seven movies in which Wayne dies, along with Reap the Wild Wind, The Fighting Seabees, Wake of the Red Witch, Sands of Iwo Jima, The Alamo and The Cowboys.
The father and son relationship between Books and Gillom reminds me of the way that Tin Star takes a man ruined by a hard life and shows how he can be redeemed by how he treats a younger one.
Si da men pai (1977)
Thank you Sammo!
The last movie that fight choreographer Sammo Hung made with his mentor director Huang Feng (Lady Whirlwind, Hapkido) before directing The Iron-Fisted Monk, The Shaolin Plot is about Prince Daglen (Chan Sing) who is creating a library of Chinese martial arts manuals and learning each form so he becomes the greatest fighter in the world.
With only two manuals left, he sends a renegade monk (Hung) with two cymbals he uses to chop heads to take the Wu-Tang and Shaolin books. Yet for his plan to happen, Daglen will have to get inside the Shaolin temple, which will see him battle Little Tiger (James Tien) and a warrior monk team (Casanova Wong and Kwan Yung Moon).
I'm such a fool for movies like this, where people need to take all of the knowledge and moves and create their own ultimate style. Anything with the Wu-Tang or Shaolin makes me happy and as long as these movies keep getting re-released, I'm going to never stop watching them and throwing little kicks in the air as I cheer the fights.
As a fat guy who loves martial arts, I just have to say, "Thank you Sammo." You have made all of us so proud.
With only two manuals left, he sends a renegade monk (Hung) with two cymbals he uses to chop heads to take the Wu-Tang and Shaolin books. Yet for his plan to happen, Daglen will have to get inside the Shaolin temple, which will see him battle Little Tiger (James Tien) and a warrior monk team (Casanova Wong and Kwan Yung Moon).
I'm such a fool for movies like this, where people need to take all of the knowledge and moves and create their own ultimate style. Anything with the Wu-Tang or Shaolin makes me happy and as long as these movies keep getting re-released, I'm going to never stop watching them and throwing little kicks in the air as I cheer the fights.
As a fat guy who loves martial arts, I just have to say, "Thank you Sammo." You have made all of us so proud.
The Scarface Mob (1959)
Pilot
Originally conceived as a two-part TV pilot, The Scarface Mob would go on to become one of TV's most famous shows, The Untouchables. It takes place in 1929 Chicago, as Al Capone's (Neville Brand) gang runs the city and is making money selling booze despite it being illegal. They pay off anyone they can but Federal Investigator Eliot Ness (Robert Stack) plans on brings together a team of men from across the country who he feels can't be bought.
Desi Arnaz had optioned the rights to Eliot Ness' book about fighting Al Capone and decided to turn it into a two-part episode of his show, the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse, under the title of The Untouchables. Westinghouse paid $200,000 for the two shows, but Arnaz put up his own money to get a better looking product and to hire Stack and Brand. He sold the rights to the film in Europe to make up the difference.
Brand would return for two episodes of the show, which were also released as a movie, Alcatraz Express. There's also another two episodes that become a third film, The Guns of Zangara.
Stack, who was most famous for this show until Airplane and Unsolved Mysteries, based Ness on the three bravest men he had met: Audie Murphy, his former roommate and war hero Buck Mazza and stuntman Carey Loftin. He said of the men, "All three had one thing in common. Tthey were the best in their fields and they never boasted!"
Director Phil Karlson was a film noir director and he fits this story, which was written by Paul Monash, who created Peyton Place and wrote The Friends of Eddie Coyle and the Salem's Lot TV miniseries.
According to the Italian-American Herald, "Italian-American actors and publishers who expose and perpetuate the stereotype image of Italians as mobsters, wife abusers, hitmen and cheats as it has since the debut of The Untouchables in 1959." This is where, as always, I remind you that there is no such thing as the Mafia, but I'm Italian. I am legally bound to write this.
That said, everything about The Untouchables - good and bad - starts here. If anything, you can enjoy just how off the rails Neville Brand is.
Desi Arnaz had optioned the rights to Eliot Ness' book about fighting Al Capone and decided to turn it into a two-part episode of his show, the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse, under the title of The Untouchables. Westinghouse paid $200,000 for the two shows, but Arnaz put up his own money to get a better looking product and to hire Stack and Brand. He sold the rights to the film in Europe to make up the difference.
Brand would return for two episodes of the show, which were also released as a movie, Alcatraz Express. There's also another two episodes that become a third film, The Guns of Zangara.
Stack, who was most famous for this show until Airplane and Unsolved Mysteries, based Ness on the three bravest men he had met: Audie Murphy, his former roommate and war hero Buck Mazza and stuntman Carey Loftin. He said of the men, "All three had one thing in common. Tthey were the best in their fields and they never boasted!"
Director Phil Karlson was a film noir director and he fits this story, which was written by Paul Monash, who created Peyton Place and wrote The Friends of Eddie Coyle and the Salem's Lot TV miniseries.
According to the Italian-American Herald, "Italian-American actors and publishers who expose and perpetuate the stereotype image of Italians as mobsters, wife abusers, hitmen and cheats as it has since the debut of The Untouchables in 1959." This is where, as always, I remind you that there is no such thing as the Mafia, but I'm Italian. I am legally bound to write this.
That said, everything about The Untouchables - good and bad - starts here. If anything, you can enjoy just how off the rails Neville Brand is.
Earthquake Underground (2024)
The title is true
Made by The Asylum, this was directed by Brian Nowak (Jurassic Domination) and written by C. M. Dowling (Super Volcano) and M. L. Miller (Shark Waters). This takes place in The Armada Hotel, which is under construction when an earthquake shakes the city. It traps Brian (Matthew Gademske) and his girlfriend Amy (Angela Cole). While he knows that she's diabetic and worries about her condition, he doesn't know that she's pregnant. Along with the architects Deb (Jenny Tran) and Joe (Pakob Jarernpone) and the person in charge of the construction, Reese (Houston Rhines) and several other future victims, they must try to get out of the building or die trying.
Most of them die, no spoiler needed.
A whole bunch of attractive people get killed by everything from malfunctioning elevators to flooding and even a helicopter bisecting them. The first part has nearly no effects and instead uses the building - which has fallen into the underground - to good effect. Then they get to the surface and that's when The Asylum remembers that they have to have lots of CGI, some bad, some not as bad, and there's even a great moment where the survivors try to escape a flood by driving through a parking garage before smashing into a wall because of bad driving.
I love 70s disaster movies so much and always hope that modern movies can get close to them. This has the spirit, if not the cast of famous people, but is missing the budget. That said, if you just want to chill out, stop thinking and enjoy what citywide destruction looks like on a low budget, who am I to hold you back? I just wish that there were sharks in the water when it flooded or that this went crazier, but as it is, it moves fast and won't bore you.
Most of them die, no spoiler needed.
A whole bunch of attractive people get killed by everything from malfunctioning elevators to flooding and even a helicopter bisecting them. The first part has nearly no effects and instead uses the building - which has fallen into the underground - to good effect. Then they get to the surface and that's when The Asylum remembers that they have to have lots of CGI, some bad, some not as bad, and there's even a great moment where the survivors try to escape a flood by driving through a parking garage before smashing into a wall because of bad driving.
I love 70s disaster movies so much and always hope that modern movies can get close to them. This has the spirit, if not the cast of famous people, but is missing the budget. That said, if you just want to chill out, stop thinking and enjoy what citywide destruction looks like on a low budget, who am I to hold you back? I just wish that there were sharks in the water when it flooded or that this went crazier, but as it is, it moves fast and won't bore you.
My Husband Hired a Hitman (2024)
The title is not a lie
Daniela (Tamara Almeida) and her husband Jaime (Jason Diaz) have seen better days. He was once a star athlete but got hurt, so now all he does is play video games and get more depressed while his wife cooks, cleans and makes all the money. He resents her, because she reminds him of the great past that he once had. She wants out so that she can have a future.
While talking with his friend Miguel (Milton Torres Lara), the conversation gets around to what Jaime should do now that it looks like he's heading for a divorce. His wife has a $500,000 life insurance policy, but when Miguel suggests they kill her, Jaime reminds him how much he loves his wife.
However, one of her fellow nurses and her best friend Rosie (Erica Deutschman) has a crush on Jaime and takes a photo of Dani consoling a cop named Noah (Brett Geddes)who saved her from a homeless man who was attacking people inside the hospital. It isn't even a romance yet, but it's already upset Dr. Will (Connor McMahon), who has an infatuation with Dani, and when Miguel sees the photo, he decides that yes, his wife must die.
Miguel decides to pull the job but he gets nervous and struggles with Dani, whose hand is on the gun when it goes off. She has no idea what to do, so she hides the body and calls Noah instead of 911. He reacts so much unlike how she expected, telling her that she's going to hurt his career. That said, he does help her hide out until she figures out what to do next. As she waits in a trailer, she's using her house's cameras to watch what Jaime is doing.
Antonio (David Chinchilla), Miguel's brother, wants revenge a lot more than Jaime. He decides that he's going to be the one to kill Dani and get the money. Noah, who falls for women in trouble, wants to help her. Jaime has no idea what he wants. Dani, however, is the kind of heroine who will do whatever she has to do to get away from all of these men and the various things they need from her.
Directed by Lisa Soper (the production designer on Peacemaker, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and The Blackcoat's Daughter) and written by Huelah Lander (Twisted Neighbor), this film has a wild color palette that feels like people live inside a Mario Bava film, as well as some great character work. Rosie is one of the most horrible, self-centered and awesome villains I've seen in a movie in some time. And Dani ends up being stronger than anyone else, making unexpected decisions and pulling herself out of the mess her life has become.
While talking with his friend Miguel (Milton Torres Lara), the conversation gets around to what Jaime should do now that it looks like he's heading for a divorce. His wife has a $500,000 life insurance policy, but when Miguel suggests they kill her, Jaime reminds him how much he loves his wife.
However, one of her fellow nurses and her best friend Rosie (Erica Deutschman) has a crush on Jaime and takes a photo of Dani consoling a cop named Noah (Brett Geddes)who saved her from a homeless man who was attacking people inside the hospital. It isn't even a romance yet, but it's already upset Dr. Will (Connor McMahon), who has an infatuation with Dani, and when Miguel sees the photo, he decides that yes, his wife must die.
Miguel decides to pull the job but he gets nervous and struggles with Dani, whose hand is on the gun when it goes off. She has no idea what to do, so she hides the body and calls Noah instead of 911. He reacts so much unlike how she expected, telling her that she's going to hurt his career. That said, he does help her hide out until she figures out what to do next. As she waits in a trailer, she's using her house's cameras to watch what Jaime is doing.
Antonio (David Chinchilla), Miguel's brother, wants revenge a lot more than Jaime. He decides that he's going to be the one to kill Dani and get the money. Noah, who falls for women in trouble, wants to help her. Jaime has no idea what he wants. Dani, however, is the kind of heroine who will do whatever she has to do to get away from all of these men and the various things they need from her.
Directed by Lisa Soper (the production designer on Peacemaker, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and The Blackcoat's Daughter) and written by Huelah Lander (Twisted Neighbor), this film has a wild color palette that feels like people live inside a Mario Bava film, as well as some great character work. Rosie is one of the most horrible, self-centered and awesome villains I've seen in a movie in some time. And Dani ends up being stronger than anyone else, making unexpected decisions and pulling herself out of the mess her life has become.
TMZ NO BS: Hollywood's Messiest Divorces (2023)
Episode 10, Season 1
Split
Divorce isn't easy, trust me. I've been through it. But I never had someone serve me paper's at my grandmother's funeral or try and negotiate while I'm dealing with brain surgery like Doctor Dre.
From Brad and Angela's split to Kanye and Kim Kardashian, TMZ gets into it in this breakdown on the messiest divorces in Hollywood.
For tabloids - which TMZ is the closest thing there is to them today, as a weekly newspaper is behind the times by the time it hits supermarkets - divorce was always what sold big. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard; Liz and well, any of her many husbands; Carson and his many wives. The big d word moved papers and I know I read tons of stories of who was right and who was wrong over the years.
If you're as pop culture obsessed as I think you are, you might not learn much new here, but it's well produced and pretty even in the way that it deals with Kanye, so that's interesting.
From Brad and Angela's split to Kanye and Kim Kardashian, TMZ gets into it in this breakdown on the messiest divorces in Hollywood.
For tabloids - which TMZ is the closest thing there is to them today, as a weekly newspaper is behind the times by the time it hits supermarkets - divorce was always what sold big. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard; Liz and well, any of her many husbands; Carson and his many wives. The big d word moved papers and I know I read tons of stories of who was right and who was wrong over the years.
If you're as pop culture obsessed as I think you are, you might not learn much new here, but it's well produced and pretty even in the way that it deals with Kanye, so that's interesting.
TMZ NO BS: Hollywood's Biggest Lies (2023)
Episode 4, Season 1
TMZ
Ually make fun of the TMZ crew but this episode of their Tubi specials gets into how they fight for the First Amendment. Sure, it's over the Mel Gibson drunk driving case, but the idea that the LAPD would get a search warrant for all of their phone records to out the source who told TMZ about four pages deleted from the arrest report is insane. It's even legal to do that now after the Patriot Act.
This time, Hollywood's biggest lies - yes, it's right there in the title - are exposed. Like did Kim Kardashian and her mother engineer her sex tape? What happened when Jussie Smollett claimed that he was attacked in a hate crime? Did Milli Vanilli really lipsync their songs? And yes, what really happened with Mel Gibson?
It's really incredible how much of this cuts through things that are accepted and shows us what really lies beneath Hollywood. Sure, these stories are all rather innocuous when it comes to lies, but the Gibson one, as I mentioned earlier, goes much deeper than I thought it would.
This time, Hollywood's biggest lies - yes, it's right there in the title - are exposed. Like did Kim Kardashian and her mother engineer her sex tape? What happened when Jussie Smollett claimed that he was attacked in a hate crime? Did Milli Vanilli really lipsync their songs? And yes, what really happened with Mel Gibson?
It's really incredible how much of this cuts through things that are accepted and shows us what really lies beneath Hollywood. Sure, these stories are all rather innocuous when it comes to lies, but the Gibson one, as I mentioned earlier, goes much deeper than I thought it would.
This Never Happened (2024)
Never happened
Directed by Ted Campbell (Final Heist), who co-wrote the script with Richard Pierce, This Never Happened is all about Emily (María José De La Cruz) who is the next in her family's history of being able to see the dead. After all, her grandmother could as well and that's why she lived out her days alone in a mental hospital.
Emily goes with her boyfriend Matteo (Javier Dulzaides) to his father's funeral in Mexico City. Afterward, his mother Melora (Andrea Noli) tells him that the house will be sold in a few days. Matteo's friends - Olivia (Conny Cambambia), Ale (Juana Serrano) and Nica (Gonzalo Zulueta) - decide that one weekend in their old house would give them closure.
You know what happens next.
I mean, Matteo even says to Emily, "You forgot to take your pills."
Here are a few words of advice for the characters in this movie but well, they're all dead so it's hard to say, right? Don't go back home with your boyfriend. If his friends all seem like drug addicts and may have put drugs in your drink, don't trust them. If you can see the dead, maybe leave instead of dealing with that big toothed monster in the swimming pool. And if you buy Tarot cards, make sure they're not razor sharp, no matter how good the scene is, because you're going to die.
I think that Less Than Zero properly prepared me for a life of hating rich people. This movie is much the same, as they the thing that never happened is - spoiler warning - a girl being drugged and assaulted by several of them at a party in this same house. Now, her spirit wants revenge and is swimming in the pool, activated by those magic crystals that got thrown into the water. That's more advice. If you have magic objects, don't be throwing them into the pool.
Then again, I am all for rich kid comeuppance and this movie delivers on that. Tubi horror has been getting better and I'm hoping that a year from now, we'll all be amazed at just how far they've grown. Until then, this has a nice budget, an attractive cast and a scene where a blender leaks blood everywhere. Can you really ask more from free?
Emily goes with her boyfriend Matteo (Javier Dulzaides) to his father's funeral in Mexico City. Afterward, his mother Melora (Andrea Noli) tells him that the house will be sold in a few days. Matteo's friends - Olivia (Conny Cambambia), Ale (Juana Serrano) and Nica (Gonzalo Zulueta) - decide that one weekend in their old house would give them closure.
You know what happens next.
I mean, Matteo even says to Emily, "You forgot to take your pills."
Here are a few words of advice for the characters in this movie but well, they're all dead so it's hard to say, right? Don't go back home with your boyfriend. If his friends all seem like drug addicts and may have put drugs in your drink, don't trust them. If you can see the dead, maybe leave instead of dealing with that big toothed monster in the swimming pool. And if you buy Tarot cards, make sure they're not razor sharp, no matter how good the scene is, because you're going to die.
I think that Less Than Zero properly prepared me for a life of hating rich people. This movie is much the same, as they the thing that never happened is - spoiler warning - a girl being drugged and assaulted by several of them at a party in this same house. Now, her spirit wants revenge and is swimming in the pool, activated by those magic crystals that got thrown into the water. That's more advice. If you have magic objects, don't be throwing them into the pool.
Then again, I am all for rich kid comeuppance and this movie delivers on that. Tubi horror has been getting better and I'm hoping that a year from now, we'll all be amazed at just how far they've grown. Until then, this has a nice budget, an attractive cast and a scene where a blender leaks blood everywhere. Can you really ask more from free?
Deadly Gossip (2024)
Not bad!
Quinn Walker (Susan Ateh) has just returned to detective work after the death of her police officer husband, a man who everyone loved and who she knew as an abuser. She's kept that a secret from everyone but most essentially from her son Liam, who idolized his dad. She's become even more of the mean mom that he forced her to be, keeping her son from his interest in detective work and using true crime websites to help others solve crimes.
On the first day back on the job, she nearly shoots a suspect who ends up being an actor in the middle of a scene. It gets her noticed and while some of the press is bad, many see her as a hero for the way she tried to save someone, even if it was on a movie set.
She's also just been assigned a new partner, Carter (Jay Rincon), a London detective who has come to America to - as we learn later - find the murderer of his father. They don't get along and she doesn't trust him, but her son sees him as someone worth knowing.
In the middle of all this drama, there are also murders.
Mia Bailey is the hottest actress in Hollywood and she's about to star in a movie based on her friend Anna's (Roisin Browne) script, Blind Items. At the same time, there's a blind items website that reveals who will die next, from Mia in the place where her career started to her business manager Jason Cohen (Luis Donegan-Brown) and almost everyone connected to Mia and Anna, who came to the city of dreams together, living with a circle of friends, all of whom are either dying or suspects, like Ozzie, a former military veteran and now spiritual healer.
As Quinn tries to deal with her grief, her new partner and being a mother, she starts to depend on her son, who is able to find clues that she never saw and use the internet way better than she ever would be able to. However, this puts him in danger.
I really liked Quinn's boss, Captain Ellis (Doña Croll), who has a really great scene with Quinn where she explains that she knew that she always had a hard time being the wife of someone that everyone saw as a much better person than he really was.
The strange thing is deciding to have a London detective in the U. S. When does this ever happen? It's kind of strange, but not enough to put me off the movie.
Director and co-writer - with Daniel Mahler Landman - Nanea Miyata also directed A Party To Die For, another Tubi Original. I liked how whoever is behind the murders goes through some twists and turns, using Quinn's recent incident in the news against her. And by the end, there's a moment that makes who the killer is up in the air, as the messages haven't stopped on the site.
On the first day back on the job, she nearly shoots a suspect who ends up being an actor in the middle of a scene. It gets her noticed and while some of the press is bad, many see her as a hero for the way she tried to save someone, even if it was on a movie set.
She's also just been assigned a new partner, Carter (Jay Rincon), a London detective who has come to America to - as we learn later - find the murderer of his father. They don't get along and she doesn't trust him, but her son sees him as someone worth knowing.
In the middle of all this drama, there are also murders.
Mia Bailey is the hottest actress in Hollywood and she's about to star in a movie based on her friend Anna's (Roisin Browne) script, Blind Items. At the same time, there's a blind items website that reveals who will die next, from Mia in the place where her career started to her business manager Jason Cohen (Luis Donegan-Brown) and almost everyone connected to Mia and Anna, who came to the city of dreams together, living with a circle of friends, all of whom are either dying or suspects, like Ozzie, a former military veteran and now spiritual healer.
As Quinn tries to deal with her grief, her new partner and being a mother, she starts to depend on her son, who is able to find clues that she never saw and use the internet way better than she ever would be able to. However, this puts him in danger.
I really liked Quinn's boss, Captain Ellis (Doña Croll), who has a really great scene with Quinn where she explains that she knew that she always had a hard time being the wife of someone that everyone saw as a much better person than he really was.
The strange thing is deciding to have a London detective in the U. S. When does this ever happen? It's kind of strange, but not enough to put me off the movie.
Director and co-writer - with Daniel Mahler Landman - Nanea Miyata also directed A Party To Die For, another Tubi Original. I liked how whoever is behind the murders goes through some twists and turns, using Quinn's recent incident in the news against her. And by the end, there's a moment that makes who the killer is up in the air, as the messages haven't stopped on the site.
Tales from the Crypt: The Reluctant Vampire (1991)
Episode 7, Season 3
Too silly
"I want to suck... Oh, hello kiddies. You caught me in the middle of my homework. Your old pal the Crypt Keeper's a real believer in continuing dead-ucation. Which brings us to tonight's murderous morsel. It's a juicy little tale about a real blood sucker who never learned to go for the jugular. I call this plasma play "The Reluctant Vampire.""
Directed by Elliot Silverstein (The Car, A Man Called Horse) and written by Terry Black (Dead Heat), this stars Malcolm McDowell as Daniel Longtooth, a vampire who choose to get his fix from the blood bank he works at. It's run by Mr. Crosswhite (George Wendt) and he takes every chance to be rude and mean to his workforce, saving his sexual harassment for Sally (Sandra Dickinson).
It turns out that Daniel is drinking so much that the blood bank is in danger of going out of business. He decides that he must use his vampire abilities to get victims and refill the plasma to save the job of Sally, who he is in love with.
Meanwhile, the police - led by Detective Robinson (Paul Gleason, forever a jerk in every movie) - have brought in Rupert Van Helsing (Michael Berryman, looking like Judge Doom) to hunt down the vampire who they believe is haunting the streets, draining muggers and low level criminals of their blood. What complicates matters is that Mr. Crosswhite knows that Daniel is a vampire and is using him to fix his business.
Maybe Sally knows too, as we find out in this episode's happy ending.
Terry Black wrote five episodes of this show, including three using the name Donald Longtooth. Yes, the same last name as the character in this episode.
I'm not a fan of the total comedy episodes of this show, but what can you do?
Directed by Elliot Silverstein (The Car, A Man Called Horse) and written by Terry Black (Dead Heat), this stars Malcolm McDowell as Daniel Longtooth, a vampire who choose to get his fix from the blood bank he works at. It's run by Mr. Crosswhite (George Wendt) and he takes every chance to be rude and mean to his workforce, saving his sexual harassment for Sally (Sandra Dickinson).
It turns out that Daniel is drinking so much that the blood bank is in danger of going out of business. He decides that he must use his vampire abilities to get victims and refill the plasma to save the job of Sally, who he is in love with.
Meanwhile, the police - led by Detective Robinson (Paul Gleason, forever a jerk in every movie) - have brought in Rupert Van Helsing (Michael Berryman, looking like Judge Doom) to hunt down the vampire who they believe is haunting the streets, draining muggers and low level criminals of their blood. What complicates matters is that Mr. Crosswhite knows that Daniel is a vampire and is using him to fix his business.
Maybe Sally knows too, as we find out in this episode's happy ending.
Terry Black wrote five episodes of this show, including three using the name Donald Longtooth. Yes, the same last name as the character in this episode.
I'm not a fan of the total comedy episodes of this show, but what can you do?
TMZ NO BS: Hollywood's Dumbest Moments (2024)
Episode 14, Season 1
Yellow
The TMZ crew all gets together and yells at one another about the dumbest celebrity decisions, like how T. I. wanted to be there for his daughter's gynecologist visits and to be sure she was still a virgin. According to Global News, his daughter said that T. I. had been going with her to these doctor visits since she was 14 or 15 and she "couldn't have said no" to her dad when he asked to join for the appointments. She also revealed on Instagram that she has harmed herself in the past to deal with her emotions.
Want even dumber? There's Justin Bieber saying that Anne Frank would have been a "Belieber," "Live for Now" the Kim Kardashian Pepsi commercial where she solves a protest and police unrest by giving a cop a soda - created by a team of white people and which caused Pepsi to have to write "Pepsi was trying to project a global message of unity, peace and understanding. Clearly we missed the mark, and we apologize. We did not intend to make light of any serious issue. We are removing the content and halting any further rollout. We also apologize for putting Kendall Jenner in this position." - as well as the celebrity "Imagine" video during the COVID-19 era and Adam Levine cheating with a woman and using his band's Instagram account to send messages.
Of all of these decisions, the fact that I watch multiple Tubi TMZ shows in a row to write about them on this site may be among the silliest.
That said, this is just like lying on my grandmother's bed with a stack of National Enquirer, Star, National Examiner and Globe newspapers and tearing through them, learning about Liz Taylor's sad last days and who was on drugs, who was on the watermelon diet, who was a friend of Dorothy and who was a cheat. Those are some of the best days of my childhood.
Want even dumber? There's Justin Bieber saying that Anne Frank would have been a "Belieber," "Live for Now" the Kim Kardashian Pepsi commercial where she solves a protest and police unrest by giving a cop a soda - created by a team of white people and which caused Pepsi to have to write "Pepsi was trying to project a global message of unity, peace and understanding. Clearly we missed the mark, and we apologize. We did not intend to make light of any serious issue. We are removing the content and halting any further rollout. We also apologize for putting Kendall Jenner in this position." - as well as the celebrity "Imagine" video during the COVID-19 era and Adam Levine cheating with a woman and using his band's Instagram account to send messages.
Of all of these decisions, the fact that I watch multiple Tubi TMZ shows in a row to write about them on this site may be among the silliest.
That said, this is just like lying on my grandmother's bed with a stack of National Enquirer, Star, National Examiner and Globe newspapers and tearing through them, learning about Liz Taylor's sad last days and who was on drugs, who was on the watermelon diet, who was a friend of Dorothy and who was a cheat. Those are some of the best days of my childhood.
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
Well done
An international co-production of Australia, the United States, and the United Arab Emirates - with all the logos before the movie begins to prove it - Late Night With the Devil takes place on Halloween night 1977 in New York City. Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian) has been the host of a show called Night Owls with Jack Delroy for several years and try as he might, he has never come close to the ratings of Johnny Carson, something that numerous people - Joey Bishop, Joan Rivers, Alan Thicke, Les Crane, Bill Dana, David Brenner, Pat Sajak, Ron Reagan, Dennis Miller, Steve Allen, Arsenio Hall, Merv Griffin, Dick Cavett, David Frost, Jerry Lewis and Regis Philbin - all tried to do. The only night that he came close with on the evening when his wife Madeleine Piper (Georgina Haig) came on the show to discuss her brave fight with cancer.
On this night, the sponsors who want to pull out are there, producer Leo Fiske (Josh Quong Tart) is trying to manage the pressure, Jack's sidekick Gus McConnell (Rhys Auteri) keeps bugging the host and a guest just might finally tip the ratings Jack's way when he needs it most.
Lilly D'Abo (Ingrid Torelli) is the last survivor of the mass suicide of the followers of Szandor D'Abo (Steve Mouzakis). D'Abo is based on Anton Szandor LaVey, as we see from a documentary within the movie, La Satanisme aux U. S. A. '71 which is obviously taken from Angeli Bianchi... Angeli Neri AKA Witchcraft '70.*
Yet Lily - and the parapsychology helping her, Dr. June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon) - aren't the only ones experiencing the occult.
There are rumors that Jack is part of The Grove, a highly influential group of rich and powerful men. It's based on the Bohemian Grove - a two-week encampment of some of the most prominent men in the world where the first Manhattan Project meetings were held and also where a yearly Cremation of Care ceremony in front of a giant owl representing old god Moloch, complete with the voice of Walter Cronkite - and there are whispers that Jack got his show as the result of his membership.
Along with Lily and June, the other guests are psychic medium Christou (Fayssal Bazzi) - whose name may reference philosopher, metaphysician and composer Ianni Christou and who may be inspired by Doris Stokes, a psychic who regularly appeared on the Australian talk show The Don Lane Show, and the look of Australian hypnotist Reveen) and a former magician turned professional psychic debunker and leader of the International Federation of Scientific Investigation into the Paranormal by the name of Carmichael Haig (Ian Bliss, playing a character definitely based on "Amazing" James Randi, who called Stokes a liar on the aforementioned Don lane hosted program, at which point Lane said, "You can piss off," and kicked him out of the studio). Both of these characters are amazing and so well acted; in fact, Bliss wasn't even the original actor and had been a reader for the film's auditions.
Plus, they show Haig investigating Amityville and making fun of the Warrens.
As the show starts - complete with monologue - Christou takes the stage and he's obviously doing cold reading, where you blast out multiple cues to a large audience, such as "Is there someone who is thinking of a name that starts with R?" and "Someone has lost a family heirloom, where are they?" He's also obviously using someone that interviews all of the guests before the show, which enables him to do his best psychic reading. This again is very similar to how James Randi figured out how televangelist Peter Popoff was knowing all about people in his audience.
Yet Christou must have some psychic power because he's suddenly overtaken and brings up someone named Minnie, which is Jack's wife's secret nickname. Haig questions everything about his methods and at that point, Christou throws up black bile and soon dies in an ambulance, unknown to the studio audience.
Then, we finally meet Lily, who came from a cult that worshipped Abraxas, the ancient god who Epiphanius said was "the cause and first archetype" of everything. Even when not possessed, Lily is disquieting in the way that she speaks to people. Yes, she's a teenage girl and awkward, but there is something that doesn't add up. Her eyes are too wild.
She refers to the demon inside her as Mr. Wriggles. Jack wants to see the demon on his show, something that June doesn't agree with. After all, Satan was big ratings in the 70s, as seen on one of the magazines shown in the film, saying that a movie of the week was entitled Hail Abraxas. Also, Dr. June's book, Conversations with the Devil, brings to mind Michelle Remembers, another occult paperback that made the talk show circuit (you can learn all about that book in the doc Satan Wants You). The demon makes her levitate, speak in a strange voice, scars her face and everything else you expect from the decade that gave us The Exorcist (there's even a black and white photo of Lily floating in the sky above an apartment building, just like another 1977 Satanic moment Exorcist II: The Heretic).
Carmichael claims that Jack set all of this up and to prove it, he hypnotizes Gus and the entire audience sees him pulls worms out of his body, something that doesn't show up on video. Yet when they watch the footage of Iris, they can see the same demonic events and even Jack's wife's ghost on the stage - she shows up multiple times in the movie, if you look** - at which point the prophecies in the film about Gus (make your head spin means he dies with his head turned around, Regan-like, after pulling a cross and saying, "The power of Christ compels you.") and Carmichael ("He's all wax no wick," as he burns from the inside out) brutally happen and even Dr. June is killed as revenge for slapping Iris when she revealed that she and Jack have been sleeping together.
Only Jack remains, now trapped within his show, finding out that he has met the demon before at the Grove and that he lost his wife for the show that made him famous. He finds Madeleine dying in the hospital and she begs him to end her pain. He takes a ritual dagger and stabs her, waking only to find that he has killed Lily. Surrounded by dead bodies, he keeps repeating the phrase that brought the audience and Gus out of a trance: "Dreamer, now awake."
Directed and written by Colin and Cameron Cairnes, this is a movie almost made to appeal to me. I have a huge affection for the talk show celebrity of the late 1970s, as well as the occult decade that eventually fell to the Satanic Panic. And quite frankly, no matter what you think of the movie, David Dastmalchian is incredible. He got the role based on a Fangoria article about his love of regional horror hosts. That's why there's a line to references Berwyn, Illinois, which is a shot out to Svengoolie.
One of the major issues people had with this movie is that three of the title cards used AI. There was almost a boycott fo the film, which led to the directors and writers saying. "In conjunction with our amazing graphics and production design team, all of whom worked tirelessly to give this film the 70s aesthetic we had always imagined, we experimented with AI for three still images which we edited further and ultimately appear as very brief interstitials in the film."
You won't notice.
Another issue that many had was that this plays fast and loose with it being found footage with so many camera angles backstage. Forcing the film to fit the constraints that nobody has set down betrays a lack of intelligence and creativity, in my opinion. The ending also upsets some, as they see no need for it, but it makes so much sense. After all, the demon of the grove appears as an owl, which explains where Jack got the name of his show from.
This quote by the Cairnes sums up my fascination with this time: "In the '70s and '80s there was something slightly dangerous about late-night TV. Talk shows in particular were a window into some strange adult world. We thought combining that charged, live-to-air atmosphere with the supernatural could make for a uniquely frightening film experience."
This film captures that feeling.
Sure, it's a lot of the same ideas that were explored in Ghostwatch and the superior WNUF Halloween Special (and its sequel, Out There Halloween Mixtape).
But any movie that starts with a fake documentary that feels like The Killing of America and has "Forever My Queen" by Pentagram playing is going to be hard for me to hate, after all.
*During a ritual, Szandor says, "So it is done." Those same words replace "End transmission" as the movie ends.
**According to IMDB, "At the end of the prologue explaining Jack Delroy's backstory, she can be seen (at around 8 mins) in a TV monitor behind Jack when he is leaning on the doorstep. 2. at 19:18 When the psychic is talking to the mother and her child she appears as a ghostly image near jack after an audio glitch. 3. Early on in the film (at around 24 mins) in a mirror backstage just as the crew is about to go back on the air; and again in Carmichael's pocket watch as it sits on a table on set. 4. She also appears (at around 1h 17 mins) on the stage in one quick shot after Jack asks the producers to step through the playback frame-by-frame, standing behind him with her hand on his shoulder and one minute later also for a quick shot just after lights turned off."
On this night, the sponsors who want to pull out are there, producer Leo Fiske (Josh Quong Tart) is trying to manage the pressure, Jack's sidekick Gus McConnell (Rhys Auteri) keeps bugging the host and a guest just might finally tip the ratings Jack's way when he needs it most.
Lilly D'Abo (Ingrid Torelli) is the last survivor of the mass suicide of the followers of Szandor D'Abo (Steve Mouzakis). D'Abo is based on Anton Szandor LaVey, as we see from a documentary within the movie, La Satanisme aux U. S. A. '71 which is obviously taken from Angeli Bianchi... Angeli Neri AKA Witchcraft '70.*
Yet Lily - and the parapsychology helping her, Dr. June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon) - aren't the only ones experiencing the occult.
There are rumors that Jack is part of The Grove, a highly influential group of rich and powerful men. It's based on the Bohemian Grove - a two-week encampment of some of the most prominent men in the world where the first Manhattan Project meetings were held and also where a yearly Cremation of Care ceremony in front of a giant owl representing old god Moloch, complete with the voice of Walter Cronkite - and there are whispers that Jack got his show as the result of his membership.
Along with Lily and June, the other guests are psychic medium Christou (Fayssal Bazzi) - whose name may reference philosopher, metaphysician and composer Ianni Christou and who may be inspired by Doris Stokes, a psychic who regularly appeared on the Australian talk show The Don Lane Show, and the look of Australian hypnotist Reveen) and a former magician turned professional psychic debunker and leader of the International Federation of Scientific Investigation into the Paranormal by the name of Carmichael Haig (Ian Bliss, playing a character definitely based on "Amazing" James Randi, who called Stokes a liar on the aforementioned Don lane hosted program, at which point Lane said, "You can piss off," and kicked him out of the studio). Both of these characters are amazing and so well acted; in fact, Bliss wasn't even the original actor and had been a reader for the film's auditions.
Plus, they show Haig investigating Amityville and making fun of the Warrens.
As the show starts - complete with monologue - Christou takes the stage and he's obviously doing cold reading, where you blast out multiple cues to a large audience, such as "Is there someone who is thinking of a name that starts with R?" and "Someone has lost a family heirloom, where are they?" He's also obviously using someone that interviews all of the guests before the show, which enables him to do his best psychic reading. This again is very similar to how James Randi figured out how televangelist Peter Popoff was knowing all about people in his audience.
Yet Christou must have some psychic power because he's suddenly overtaken and brings up someone named Minnie, which is Jack's wife's secret nickname. Haig questions everything about his methods and at that point, Christou throws up black bile and soon dies in an ambulance, unknown to the studio audience.
Then, we finally meet Lily, who came from a cult that worshipped Abraxas, the ancient god who Epiphanius said was "the cause and first archetype" of everything. Even when not possessed, Lily is disquieting in the way that she speaks to people. Yes, she's a teenage girl and awkward, but there is something that doesn't add up. Her eyes are too wild.
She refers to the demon inside her as Mr. Wriggles. Jack wants to see the demon on his show, something that June doesn't agree with. After all, Satan was big ratings in the 70s, as seen on one of the magazines shown in the film, saying that a movie of the week was entitled Hail Abraxas. Also, Dr. June's book, Conversations with the Devil, brings to mind Michelle Remembers, another occult paperback that made the talk show circuit (you can learn all about that book in the doc Satan Wants You). The demon makes her levitate, speak in a strange voice, scars her face and everything else you expect from the decade that gave us The Exorcist (there's even a black and white photo of Lily floating in the sky above an apartment building, just like another 1977 Satanic moment Exorcist II: The Heretic).
Carmichael claims that Jack set all of this up and to prove it, he hypnotizes Gus and the entire audience sees him pulls worms out of his body, something that doesn't show up on video. Yet when they watch the footage of Iris, they can see the same demonic events and even Jack's wife's ghost on the stage - she shows up multiple times in the movie, if you look** - at which point the prophecies in the film about Gus (make your head spin means he dies with his head turned around, Regan-like, after pulling a cross and saying, "The power of Christ compels you.") and Carmichael ("He's all wax no wick," as he burns from the inside out) brutally happen and even Dr. June is killed as revenge for slapping Iris when she revealed that she and Jack have been sleeping together.
Only Jack remains, now trapped within his show, finding out that he has met the demon before at the Grove and that he lost his wife for the show that made him famous. He finds Madeleine dying in the hospital and she begs him to end her pain. He takes a ritual dagger and stabs her, waking only to find that he has killed Lily. Surrounded by dead bodies, he keeps repeating the phrase that brought the audience and Gus out of a trance: "Dreamer, now awake."
Directed and written by Colin and Cameron Cairnes, this is a movie almost made to appeal to me. I have a huge affection for the talk show celebrity of the late 1970s, as well as the occult decade that eventually fell to the Satanic Panic. And quite frankly, no matter what you think of the movie, David Dastmalchian is incredible. He got the role based on a Fangoria article about his love of regional horror hosts. That's why there's a line to references Berwyn, Illinois, which is a shot out to Svengoolie.
One of the major issues people had with this movie is that three of the title cards used AI. There was almost a boycott fo the film, which led to the directors and writers saying. "In conjunction with our amazing graphics and production design team, all of whom worked tirelessly to give this film the 70s aesthetic we had always imagined, we experimented with AI for three still images which we edited further and ultimately appear as very brief interstitials in the film."
You won't notice.
Another issue that many had was that this plays fast and loose with it being found footage with so many camera angles backstage. Forcing the film to fit the constraints that nobody has set down betrays a lack of intelligence and creativity, in my opinion. The ending also upsets some, as they see no need for it, but it makes so much sense. After all, the demon of the grove appears as an owl, which explains where Jack got the name of his show from.
This quote by the Cairnes sums up my fascination with this time: "In the '70s and '80s there was something slightly dangerous about late-night TV. Talk shows in particular were a window into some strange adult world. We thought combining that charged, live-to-air atmosphere with the supernatural could make for a uniquely frightening film experience."
This film captures that feeling.
Sure, it's a lot of the same ideas that were explored in Ghostwatch and the superior WNUF Halloween Special (and its sequel, Out There Halloween Mixtape).
But any movie that starts with a fake documentary that feels like The Killing of America and has "Forever My Queen" by Pentagram playing is going to be hard for me to hate, after all.
*During a ritual, Szandor says, "So it is done." Those same words replace "End transmission" as the movie ends.
**According to IMDB, "At the end of the prologue explaining Jack Delroy's backstory, she can be seen (at around 8 mins) in a TV monitor behind Jack when he is leaning on the doorstep. 2. at 19:18 When the psychic is talking to the mother and her child she appears as a ghostly image near jack after an audio glitch. 3. Early on in the film (at around 24 mins) in a mirror backstage just as the crew is about to go back on the air; and again in Carmichael's pocket watch as it sits on a table on set. 4. She also appears (at around 1h 17 mins) on the stage in one quick shot after Jack asks the producers to step through the playback frame-by-frame, standing behind him with her hand on his shoulder and one minute later also for a quick shot just after lights turned off."
Allonsanfàn (1974)
Interesting
Set against the backdrop of the Italian Unification in early 19th-century Italy, after the fall of Napoleon, Fulvio (Marcello Mastroianni), an aristocrat who has dedicated his life to the revolution, has become disillusioned.
You will understand why, as the movie starts with Fulvio being released from prison after authorities spread the rumor that he sold out the Master of Sublime Brothers, a secret society of revolutionaries, to be freed. His formers friends put him on trial until they find out that their missing Master committed suicide days earlier. The group disbands and Fulvio finally goes home after decades gone, just as his relatives mourn his death.
His lover Charlotte (Lea Massari) wants to go to Sicily to start another revolution but Fulvio is exhausted by it all. He decides not to tell his fellow revolutionaries that the authorities are coming and most of them die, including Charlotte, moments after they are reunited with their son Massimiliano (Ermanno Taviani). The survivors have no idea that Fulvio has turned against them and think the money his lover left will go to the struggle; he wants to take their son to America.
He manages to nearly convince one of the revolutionaries, Lionello (Claudio Cassinelli), to kill himself before their boat capsides and kills him anyway; he also seduces his lover Francesca (Mimsy Farmer) while using the money to send his son to a boarding school while making it appear as if he were robbed. It all seems to come together, except for the titular Allonsanfàn (Stanko Molnar).
Directors and writers Paolo and Vittorio Taviani were inspired by 19th-century Italian operas, as well as an ill-fated 1857 revolutionary expedition led by Carlo Pisacane. Originally, the movie ended with Fulvio choosing not to betray his companions, but the Tavianis were themselves disillusioned with Italy itself.
It also has a great team working on the soundtrack, as it was composed by Ennio Morricone and directed by Bruno Nicolai.
You will understand why, as the movie starts with Fulvio being released from prison after authorities spread the rumor that he sold out the Master of Sublime Brothers, a secret society of revolutionaries, to be freed. His formers friends put him on trial until they find out that their missing Master committed suicide days earlier. The group disbands and Fulvio finally goes home after decades gone, just as his relatives mourn his death.
His lover Charlotte (Lea Massari) wants to go to Sicily to start another revolution but Fulvio is exhausted by it all. He decides not to tell his fellow revolutionaries that the authorities are coming and most of them die, including Charlotte, moments after they are reunited with their son Massimiliano (Ermanno Taviani). The survivors have no idea that Fulvio has turned against them and think the money his lover left will go to the struggle; he wants to take their son to America.
He manages to nearly convince one of the revolutionaries, Lionello (Claudio Cassinelli), to kill himself before their boat capsides and kills him anyway; he also seduces his lover Francesca (Mimsy Farmer) while using the money to send his son to a boarding school while making it appear as if he were robbed. It all seems to come together, except for the titular Allonsanfàn (Stanko Molnar).
Directors and writers Paolo and Vittorio Taviani were inspired by 19th-century Italian operas, as well as an ill-fated 1857 revolutionary expedition led by Carlo Pisacane. Originally, the movie ended with Fulvio choosing not to betray his companions, but the Tavianis were themselves disillusioned with Italy itself.
It also has a great team working on the soundtrack, as it was composed by Ennio Morricone and directed by Bruno Nicolai.
Poison Ivy (1985)
Camp colors
Airing on NBC on February 10, 1985, between when Michael J. Fox was a star on Family Ties and then a huge star after Back to the Future, Poison Ivy was directed by Larry Elikann (who did eighteen ABC Afterschool Specials) and written by Bennett Tramer, who wrote Without Warning and would go on after this to create Saved By the Bell.
If you enjoyed High School U. S. A., well, this will be something else you will probably get into, as Fox and his love interest, Nancy McKeon, were in both and were also NBC stars. Fox is Dennis Baxter, the Bill Murray of this and McKeon is Rhonda Malone, who is studying to be a psychologist. There's also a Color War - yes, this movie is Meatballs - and it has Robert Klein as the owner of the camp, Cary Guffey from Close Encounters of the Third Kind as a kid that wants to escape camp, Adam Baldwin as one of the bad guys, Joe Wright from Silver Bullet as a camper who runs scams and flams, Thomas Nowell (who was in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives) as a young writer with a crush on Rhonda and Matthew Shugailo as a chubby kid who uses humor to get through the summer's hijinks.
Oh yeah - Fox and McKeon met on the set of High School U. S. A. And dated for three years.
If you enjoyed High School U. S. A., well, this will be something else you will probably get into, as Fox and his love interest, Nancy McKeon, were in both and were also NBC stars. Fox is Dennis Baxter, the Bill Murray of this and McKeon is Rhonda Malone, who is studying to be a psychologist. There's also a Color War - yes, this movie is Meatballs - and it has Robert Klein as the owner of the camp, Cary Guffey from Close Encounters of the Third Kind as a kid that wants to escape camp, Adam Baldwin as one of the bad guys, Joe Wright from Silver Bullet as a camper who runs scams and flams, Thomas Nowell (who was in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives) as a young writer with a crush on Rhonda and Matthew Shugailo as a chubby kid who uses humor to get through the summer's hijinks.
Oh yeah - Fox and McKeon met on the set of High School U. S. A. And dated for three years.
Shen yong fei hu ba wang hua (1989)
Loved it
After the Police Academy with stunts awesomeness of the first movie, this has four new squad members join the Hong Kong Police Academy to be join the Banshee Squad led by Madam Wu (Sibelle Hu). However, many of them don't get along with the existing team, like Susanna (Amy Yip), who is so well-endowed that she has to cut holes in the chest of her bulletproof vest. There's also the male team, the Tiger Squad, who are led by Inspector Kan (Stanley Fung). Just like the original, Wu and Kan have a thin line between love and hate in their relationship.
That said, this time there's competition for Madam Wu's affection, as there's a new antiterrorist trainer, Mr. Lu (Melvin Wong). The majority of this movie is all training until with twenty minutes left, it remembers that they need to bring the Banshee Squad and Tiger Squad back together and have all the good girls and guys stop fighting with one another.
There's more dancing than fighting in this, more pranks and hijinks than fisticuffs. And you know, I don't care. I love these movies, with their 80s fashion looks, lovable characters and blasts of action from producer Jackie Chan's Jackie Chan Stunt Team. There are four of these movies and I will watch every single one of them with a huge grin.
So yeah, nothing happens, but when the first movie was such a success, they rushed this one. Just enjoy it for what it is and that we can watch movies like this in high definition now and not 20th generation VHS tapes that we bought at a convention that tape rot in months.
That said, this time there's competition for Madam Wu's affection, as there's a new antiterrorist trainer, Mr. Lu (Melvin Wong). The majority of this movie is all training until with twenty minutes left, it remembers that they need to bring the Banshee Squad and Tiger Squad back together and have all the good girls and guys stop fighting with one another.
There's more dancing than fighting in this, more pranks and hijinks than fisticuffs. And you know, I don't care. I love these movies, with their 80s fashion looks, lovable characters and blasts of action from producer Jackie Chan's Jackie Chan Stunt Team. There are four of these movies and I will watch every single one of them with a huge grin.
So yeah, nothing happens, but when the first movie was such a success, they rushed this one. Just enjoy it for what it is and that we can watch movies like this in high definition now and not 20th generation VHS tapes that we bought at a convention that tape rot in months.
Frog Dreaming (1986)
The Go Kids
Everett De Roche also wrote a ton of films that more people should see: Roadgames, Patrick, Harlequin, Link, Razorback, Fortress and more. I can say the same for this film's director, Brian Trenchard-Smith, who said of his own work, "There is something you always get in a Trenchard-Smith movie: pace, a strong visual sense, and what the movie is actually about told to you very persuasively. Whatever I do, I'll still be applying a sense of pace: trying to find where the joke is and trying to make the film look a lot bigger than it cost." I'd recommend his film's Stunt Rock, Dead-End Drive-In, Turkey Shoot, Night of the Demons 2 and even Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, which is way better than it ever should be.
This was originally to be directed by Russell Hagg, who wrote Trenchard-Smith's BMX Bandits and was the art director of A Clockwork Orange.
Henry Thomas, Elliot of E. T., plays Cody, an American orphan living in Australia, raising by his guardian Gaza (Tony Barry). He's a smart kid, intelligent enough to build his own railbike, and also interested in the cryptozoological legends of his adopted home. In Devil's Knob national park, there are water monsters known as Bunyips, including one called Donkegin. There's also another creature called the Kurdaitcha Man who is some kind of supernatural judge who comes after those who do harm to one another, murder animals without the need for food and destroy the environment.
Cody decides to explore the bottom of a pond in a diving suit of his own design. He gets stuck and everyone but his friend Wendy (Rachel Friend) thinks he is dead. What he thought was a monster is instead a steam shovel that has been stuck for years. That's what satisfies the adults; the kids still can see the Kurdaitcha Man as he returns it to the pond.
For a kid's movie, this is pretty terrifying. But I always think that there should be an element of the fantastic - and frightening - in these films to inspire.
The title refers to an Aboriginal myth. Alternate titles include The Go-Kids in the UK, The Quest in the U. S., The Mystery of the Dark Lake in Italy, The Boy Who Chases Ghosts in Bulgaria, The Spirit Chaser in Germany and Fighting Spirits in Finland.
This was originally to be directed by Russell Hagg, who wrote Trenchard-Smith's BMX Bandits and was the art director of A Clockwork Orange.
Henry Thomas, Elliot of E. T., plays Cody, an American orphan living in Australia, raising by his guardian Gaza (Tony Barry). He's a smart kid, intelligent enough to build his own railbike, and also interested in the cryptozoological legends of his adopted home. In Devil's Knob national park, there are water monsters known as Bunyips, including one called Donkegin. There's also another creature called the Kurdaitcha Man who is some kind of supernatural judge who comes after those who do harm to one another, murder animals without the need for food and destroy the environment.
Cody decides to explore the bottom of a pond in a diving suit of his own design. He gets stuck and everyone but his friend Wendy (Rachel Friend) thinks he is dead. What he thought was a monster is instead a steam shovel that has been stuck for years. That's what satisfies the adults; the kids still can see the Kurdaitcha Man as he returns it to the pond.
For a kid's movie, this is pretty terrifying. But I always think that there should be an element of the fantastic - and frightening - in these films to inspire.
The title refers to an Aboriginal myth. Alternate titles include The Go-Kids in the UK, The Quest in the U. S., The Mystery of the Dark Lake in Italy, The Boy Who Chases Ghosts in Bulgaria, The Spirit Chaser in Germany and Fighting Spirits in Finland.
Lisa Frankenstein (2024)
Frank
Directed by Zelda Williams, the daughter of Robin, in her debut, Lisa Frankenstein was written by Diablo Cody, who claims that it takes place in the same universe as Jennifer's Body, It's set in 1989 and really feels like a movie made for those who may not have been alive at that time and want to feel a cinematic version of it rather than those who lived through it and saw films that inspired this movie, like Weird Science.
Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton, who was in Big Little Lies, Blockers and Freaky), besides being saddled with that name, has lost her mother to an axe murderer and now has a horrible stepmother Janet (Carla Gugino), who has pretty much taken her father (Joe Chrest) from her. The positive things in her life include her somewhat goofy stepsister Taffy (Liza Soberano) and best friend Lori (Jenna Davis, the voice of M3GAN). And oh yes, the cemetery where she sits near an unnamed musician (Cole Sprouse, who was Cody on The Suite Life of Zack & Cody) who had fallen in love with a woman before she left him for another man and he was struck by lightning.
After a boy named Doug (Bryce Romero) tries to assault her at a party, Lisa ends up back at the grave, wishing she could be together in death with the musician. Lightning hits his grave and he comes back from the dead as a zombie who follows her. He's missing body parts, ones that he soon gains by killing anyone who has wronged Lisa, who uses a tanning bed to fuse their parts with his body before the police start to figure out that everyone dead has a connection to Lisa.
I realize that this film may not be for me as a target audience, but I liked its look and soundtrack. Cody's dialogue is an acquired taste, as hardly anyone speaks like that in real life, but hey, we're watching a movie. The leads are charming and if this came out in 1989, when I was 17 and the audience for it, I probably would have loved it way more than I did in 2024 when I am 51.
Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton, who was in Big Little Lies, Blockers and Freaky), besides being saddled with that name, has lost her mother to an axe murderer and now has a horrible stepmother Janet (Carla Gugino), who has pretty much taken her father (Joe Chrest) from her. The positive things in her life include her somewhat goofy stepsister Taffy (Liza Soberano) and best friend Lori (Jenna Davis, the voice of M3GAN). And oh yes, the cemetery where she sits near an unnamed musician (Cole Sprouse, who was Cody on The Suite Life of Zack & Cody) who had fallen in love with a woman before she left him for another man and he was struck by lightning.
After a boy named Doug (Bryce Romero) tries to assault her at a party, Lisa ends up back at the grave, wishing she could be together in death with the musician. Lightning hits his grave and he comes back from the dead as a zombie who follows her. He's missing body parts, ones that he soon gains by killing anyone who has wronged Lisa, who uses a tanning bed to fuse their parts with his body before the police start to figure out that everyone dead has a connection to Lisa.
I realize that this film may not be for me as a target audience, but I liked its look and soundtrack. Cody's dialogue is an acquired taste, as hardly anyone speaks like that in real life, but hey, we're watching a movie. The leads are charming and if this came out in 1989, when I was 17 and the audience for it, I probably would have loved it way more than I did in 2024 when I am 51.
False Face (1977)
False face
Released regionally as False Face in 1977 through United International Pictures (a joint venture of Paramount Pictures and Universal Pictures that distributes their films outside the United States and Canada; it started as Cinema International Corporation) and was made on a $400,000 budget in Atlanta and Covington, GA. Most of it is shot in Covington's antebellum Turner mansion, one of the few Southern mansions spared by General William Tecumseh Sherman during the Civil War.
In 1979, it was re-released by AVCO Embassy, cut to PG and called Scalpel.
Phillip Reynolds (Robert Lansing) is both a plastic surgeon and a sociopath. He's probably already killed his wife and when he watches his daughter Heather (Judith Chapman) make love to her boyfriend, he becomes so upset that he kills the boy and makes it all look like an accident. Heather runs away, which is inconvenient, as Phillip's dead wife's father gives his fortune to her instead of Phillip or Bradley (Arlen Dean Snyder), the old man's ne'er do well son.
What does one do at this point?
Find an exotic dancer whose face has been beaten into nothingness, train her to be his daughter and collect the estate.
Everyone is convinced of the ruse except Bradley, who is killed while Jane - and Heather, who has returned - watches in horror. Of course, by this point, Phillip is dating his fake daughter, which is another level of strangeness that we expect from regional films. At this point, the women find one another and set upon making things right.
Directed and co-written (with Joseph Weintraub, who usually was an editor) by John Grissmer (who also directed Blood Rage and wrote The Bride, which is so worth watching), this is a slice of Southern Gothic by way of horror but yet made, as all regional greatness is, outside of the traditional system.
In 1979, it was re-released by AVCO Embassy, cut to PG and called Scalpel.
Phillip Reynolds (Robert Lansing) is both a plastic surgeon and a sociopath. He's probably already killed his wife and when he watches his daughter Heather (Judith Chapman) make love to her boyfriend, he becomes so upset that he kills the boy and makes it all look like an accident. Heather runs away, which is inconvenient, as Phillip's dead wife's father gives his fortune to her instead of Phillip or Bradley (Arlen Dean Snyder), the old man's ne'er do well son.
What does one do at this point?
Find an exotic dancer whose face has been beaten into nothingness, train her to be his daughter and collect the estate.
Everyone is convinced of the ruse except Bradley, who is killed while Jane - and Heather, who has returned - watches in horror. Of course, by this point, Phillip is dating his fake daughter, which is another level of strangeness that we expect from regional films. At this point, the women find one another and set upon making things right.
Directed and co-written (with Joseph Weintraub, who usually was an editor) by John Grissmer (who also directed Blood Rage and wrote The Bride, which is so worth watching), this is a slice of Southern Gothic by way of horror but yet made, as all regional greatness is, outside of the traditional system.
Apple Seed (2019)
Apple Seed
Prince Mccoy (director, writer and star Michael Worth) has lost out on all the dreams he once had as he grew up in the small town of Apple Seed. His childhood bank foreclosed on everything his father owned, which he blames for his father's death. And now, he has no home, no girlfriend and no hope. So he decides to drive across the country in his 1967 Mustang - which is all he owns - and make that bank pay for what they've done.
He picks up an old man named Carl Robbins (Rance Howard), a strange senior who has a bucket list on a napkin and a mission to lead Prince on a journey that will change both their lives, meeting a variety of people, like the love that Prince let get away, as they also confront the errors they've made in their own lives.
That's because just like Prince wants to, Carl also robbed a bank. And despite his advanced age, he's facing a prison sentence that will last for the rest of his life. Is Carl's past going to be Prince's future? And what happens when they make it to Apple Seed?
This is the last film that Rance Howard was in, released two years after his death. It also has a role for his son Clint.
There's also an appearance by Robby Benson that echoes the movie Ode to Billie Joe, based on the song of the same name.
Worth told Diversions LA, "I did a film with Rance in Flagstaff, Arizona and I knew I had to do a film for him. It was just one of those things I wanted to get made. We completed the project just before Rance passed away."
As I get older, I've been thinking of the journey of my life. This movie made me reflect on things and wonder when I will go from Prince to Carl in my experience.
He picks up an old man named Carl Robbins (Rance Howard), a strange senior who has a bucket list on a napkin and a mission to lead Prince on a journey that will change both their lives, meeting a variety of people, like the love that Prince let get away, as they also confront the errors they've made in their own lives.
That's because just like Prince wants to, Carl also robbed a bank. And despite his advanced age, he's facing a prison sentence that will last for the rest of his life. Is Carl's past going to be Prince's future? And what happens when they make it to Apple Seed?
This is the last film that Rance Howard was in, released two years after his death. It also has a role for his son Clint.
There's also an appearance by Robby Benson that echoes the movie Ode to Billie Joe, based on the song of the same name.
Worth told Diversions LA, "I did a film with Rance in Flagstaff, Arizona and I knew I had to do a film for him. It was just one of those things I wanted to get made. We completed the project just before Rance passed away."
As I get older, I've been thinking of the journey of my life. This movie made me reflect on things and wonder when I will go from Prince to Carl in my experience.
Fear Is the Key (1972)
Fear is the key
John Talbot (Barry Newman, Vanishing Point) shows up in a small Louisiana town and nearly immediately starts a fight with some cops, goes to jail and it's soon discovered that he is wanted for killing a policeman and robbing a bank. He then escapes, abducting Sarah Ruthven (Suzy Kendall), who just so happens to be the daughter of a millionaire. But nothing in this movie is as it seems.
Directed by Michael Tuchner with stunt sequences coordinated by Carey Loftin (Bullit, The French Connection), Fear Is the Key is really about Talbot faking his way into becoming a criminal in order to find out who killed his wife and son, going the whole way to the depths of the ocean to get the answers and retribution that he craves.
It's also Ben Kingsley's first movie, although he would only work on the stage on on TV for a decade until he was in his next movie, Ghandi.
As exciting as the book that this was based on, written by Alistair MacLean, there's nothing like getting a twenty-minute car chase that features Newman driving a 1972 Ford Gran Torino. Loftin was the king of scenes like this, as well as being the driver of famous car scenes in Duel and Christine. That chase happens at the beginning of the movie, which may seem like a strange way to structure a movie, but sometimes, you give it your best shot right from the starting flag.
Directed by Michael Tuchner with stunt sequences coordinated by Carey Loftin (Bullit, The French Connection), Fear Is the Key is really about Talbot faking his way into becoming a criminal in order to find out who killed his wife and son, going the whole way to the depths of the ocean to get the answers and retribution that he craves.
It's also Ben Kingsley's first movie, although he would only work on the stage on on TV for a decade until he was in his next movie, Ghandi.
As exciting as the book that this was based on, written by Alistair MacLean, there's nothing like getting a twenty-minute car chase that features Newman driving a 1972 Ford Gran Torino. Loftin was the king of scenes like this, as well as being the driver of famous car scenes in Duel and Christine. That chase happens at the beginning of the movie, which may seem like a strange way to structure a movie, but sometimes, you give it your best shot right from the starting flag.
The Headless Eyes (1971)
Headless Eyes
Arthur Malcolm (Bo Brundin, who was in Meteor, The Day the Clown Cried and Raise the Titanic) can't pay the rent - he's a starving artist, you know? - so he tries to sneak into a woman's bedroom and steals money off her nightstand. He thinks that she's sleeping, she thinks he's a rapist and this comical misunderstanding ends with her popping out his eye with a spoon and knocking him out a window.
Arthur pulls himself back up and decides that he's going to keep being an artist but to do so, he's going to kill people and use their eyeballs in his art.
It was produced by porn luminary Henri Pachard and distributed by J. E. R. Pictures as a double feature with The Ghastly Ones. The director and writer? Kent Bateman, who was the father of Jason and Justine, and would one day produce Teen Wolf Too.
Back to that porn connection, it has adult actors Larry Hunter (who was also in The Amazing Transplant with another actress from this movie, Mary Lamay) and Linda Southern. Another actress, Ann Wells, was also in Anything Once, Career Bed and The Detention Girls, was married to Bateman but is not the mother of his famous children.
Don't be confused by the poster. This is not a movie about eyeballs moving on their own. No, it's a movie about a man with an eyepatch saying "My eye!" and "I'm twisted!" while plucking other eyeballs out of their sockets. Over and over. Sometimes even in focus. Also: set to music stole from the Cecil Leuter and Georges Teperino albums TV Music 101 and TV Music 102.
This is the kind of movie that as soon as it starts, you're either going to love or despise it.
I loved every minute.
Arthur pulls himself back up and decides that he's going to keep being an artist but to do so, he's going to kill people and use their eyeballs in his art.
It was produced by porn luminary Henri Pachard and distributed by J. E. R. Pictures as a double feature with The Ghastly Ones. The director and writer? Kent Bateman, who was the father of Jason and Justine, and would one day produce Teen Wolf Too.
Back to that porn connection, it has adult actors Larry Hunter (who was also in The Amazing Transplant with another actress from this movie, Mary Lamay) and Linda Southern. Another actress, Ann Wells, was also in Anything Once, Career Bed and The Detention Girls, was married to Bateman but is not the mother of his famous children.
Don't be confused by the poster. This is not a movie about eyeballs moving on their own. No, it's a movie about a man with an eyepatch saying "My eye!" and "I'm twisted!" while plucking other eyeballs out of their sockets. Over and over. Sometimes even in focus. Also: set to music stole from the Cecil Leuter and Georges Teperino albums TV Music 101 and TV Music 102.
This is the kind of movie that as soon as it starts, you're either going to love or despise it.
I loved every minute.
Stella Maris (1918)
Stella Maris
In this film, Mary Pickford plays not one, but two roles in a movie different from anything she had ever done before. One is beautiful, rich, but crippled Stella Maris and the other is deformed and abused orphan Unity Blake. For one of the first times in film, one actress would play two roles using double exposures and complex editing from director Marshall Neilan and cinematographer Walter Stradling.
Based on William John Locke's 1913 novel, this begins with Stella Maris trapped in her London mansion bedroom. Unable to walk since birth, her wealthy family tries to keep her from the horrors of the world, such as World War I. There's a sign on her door which tells anyone entering, "All unhappiness and world wisdom leave outside. Those without smiles need not enter."
Unity Blake is an uneducated orphan who has been abused to the point that she is afraid of every person she meets. She's been hired by Louisa (Marcia Manon) to work in the mansion.
John (Conway Tearle) may be married to Louisa, but it's never been happy. He frequently visits Stella, who he has never told that he is married. Instead, he wants her to think that he is as perfect as her worldview.
One night, Unity loses the food she is delivering and as a result, a drunken Louisa beats her senseless. Louisa is arrested and jailed, while John decides to adopt Unity, who soon falls in love with him. Stella's family wants her kept from the rich girl, as seeing another woman so broken will let her know that the world is a horrible place.
Unity decides to become educated, learning from her new guardian Aunt Gladys (Josephine Crowell), as Stella gets an operation which allows her to walk. She agrees to marry John, just as Louise gets out of jail, telling the young girl the truth about the man she is in love with.
That night, Aunt Gladys is overheard telling others that Louise will never allow John to live the life he deserves. Unity, realizing that John will only love Stella, murders Louise and kills herself, freeing John and allowing Stella to believe that there may be sadness, but there can also be joy afterward.
What I love about the golden age of media that we live in now is that movies like this, that may otherwise not be seen and could even be lost can now exist in my collection.
Based on William John Locke's 1913 novel, this begins with Stella Maris trapped in her London mansion bedroom. Unable to walk since birth, her wealthy family tries to keep her from the horrors of the world, such as World War I. There's a sign on her door which tells anyone entering, "All unhappiness and world wisdom leave outside. Those without smiles need not enter."
Unity Blake is an uneducated orphan who has been abused to the point that she is afraid of every person she meets. She's been hired by Louisa (Marcia Manon) to work in the mansion.
John (Conway Tearle) may be married to Louisa, but it's never been happy. He frequently visits Stella, who he has never told that he is married. Instead, he wants her to think that he is as perfect as her worldview.
One night, Unity loses the food she is delivering and as a result, a drunken Louisa beats her senseless. Louisa is arrested and jailed, while John decides to adopt Unity, who soon falls in love with him. Stella's family wants her kept from the rich girl, as seeing another woman so broken will let her know that the world is a horrible place.
Unity decides to become educated, learning from her new guardian Aunt Gladys (Josephine Crowell), as Stella gets an operation which allows her to walk. She agrees to marry John, just as Louise gets out of jail, telling the young girl the truth about the man she is in love with.
That night, Aunt Gladys is overheard telling others that Louise will never allow John to live the life he deserves. Unity, realizing that John will only love Stella, murders Louise and kills herself, freeing John and allowing Stella to believe that there may be sadness, but there can also be joy afterward.
What I love about the golden age of media that we live in now is that movies like this, that may otherwise not be seen and could even be lost can now exist in my collection.
It's Pat: The Movie (1994)
Pat
Julia Sweeney created the character Pat O'Neill Riley for Saturday Night Live but it wasn't intended to be a mystery as to the character's gender. Sweeney said, "I'd been an accountant for like five years, and there was one person I worked with in particular who had a lot of mannerisms like Pat. This person sort of drooled and had the kind of body language of Pat. I started trying to do him. I was testing it out on my friends and they were just like, "Yeah, it's good, but it doesn't seem like a guy that much." Like I couldn't quite pull off being in drag convincingly enough. So then I thought, maybe that's the joke. I'll just have one joke in here about how we don't know if that's a man or a woman just to sort of cover up for my lack of ability to really play a guy convincingly."
First appearing on December 1, 1990 and showing up in twelve other episodes, Pat is of another era, a time when non-binary and transgender people were seen mostly as someone to joke about. Let's be honest, they still are and even worse today. But for a time, Pat was the first character of its type.
Sweeney said about this film - yes, everyone from SNL was getting a movie at this stage - "I wrote It's Pat with Jim Emerson and Steve Hibbert. We had a great time writing and a lot of fun making the film. The movie didn't do well at the box office, not by a long shot. In fact, It's Pat became a popular example of a film so despised that it got a zero percent Rotten Tomatoes rating! I guess in that way, it's sort of a badge of honor. But I can't help it, I love this film. It has so many people in it who I love, and loved. Many are dead: Charlie Rocket, who played Kyle, and Julie Hayden who played his wife (who died of cancer a couple of years after the film premiered,) my dad who played the priest who married us, and my brother Mike who had one line at the wedding shower of Pat and Chris. And there are so many good friends in the film too: Kathy Griffin and Dave Foley and Kathy Najimy and Tim Stack and Tim Meadows. And the band Ween! We had so much fun together."
Yes. Ween is in this. It still makes me laugh that they show up.
Pat (Sweeney) and Chris (Dave Foley, who continually has played women in nearly every show that he's been part of) have met, found out that they both like to eat and become engaged. Yet Pat can't get her life together, she has a neighbor (Charles Rocket) obsessed with her and an appearance on America's Creepiest People turns her into a celebrity, which causes the couple to break off their engagement. The entire free world then becomes obsessed by whether or not Pat is a man or a woman while Pat tries to get Chris back.
Sweeney didn't want to make the film. She said, "I resisted it completely. I just didn't know how we could make it last for two hours. But 20th Century Fox was really keen; our producer was really keen. So we thought, OK, we'll write the script. And after three months, we fell madly in love with the script. Unfortunately, Fox did not."
This was made by Touchstone Pictures instead of that studio.
It also has an uncredited writer.
Quentin Tarantino.
Playboy: You were hired to do a rewrite of It's Pat. As one now familar with the perspiring androgyne from Saturday Night Live, is Pat a he or a she?
Tarantino: The androgyny aspect is only a part of Pat's appeal. What I love about the character is that Pat is so ******* obnoxious. To tell the truth, I don't know what Pat is. But I know what I want Pat to be: I want Pat to be a girl. There was only one sketch that Julia Sweeney, the actress who plays Pat did on Saturday Night Live that gave a clue to what Pat is. It was the sketch that Pat did with Harvey Keitel. They're stranded on a deserted island and they have sex - and Harvey still doesn't know what Pat is. And the thing is, they kissed in it. At one point they were thinking of taking the kiss out of the sketch. But Harvey, being Harvey, demanded they keep it in, that there'd be no integrity without the kiss. So that was the first time we'd seen Pat in an intimate situation - a smooch. There is a certain way that you hold your head, the way you come in for a kiss. And sitting there, watching it, I thought that Pat didn't kiss like a guy. Pat kissed like a girl.
Sweeney was so upset after this that she never wanted to play the Pat character again. However, she had previously agreed for Pat to be honored as mayor for the day"in West Hollywood on Halloween. She would play Pat one last time on October 31, 1994, but claims that it was "halfhearted and pathetic."
First appearing on December 1, 1990 and showing up in twelve other episodes, Pat is of another era, a time when non-binary and transgender people were seen mostly as someone to joke about. Let's be honest, they still are and even worse today. But for a time, Pat was the first character of its type.
Sweeney said about this film - yes, everyone from SNL was getting a movie at this stage - "I wrote It's Pat with Jim Emerson and Steve Hibbert. We had a great time writing and a lot of fun making the film. The movie didn't do well at the box office, not by a long shot. In fact, It's Pat became a popular example of a film so despised that it got a zero percent Rotten Tomatoes rating! I guess in that way, it's sort of a badge of honor. But I can't help it, I love this film. It has so many people in it who I love, and loved. Many are dead: Charlie Rocket, who played Kyle, and Julie Hayden who played his wife (who died of cancer a couple of years after the film premiered,) my dad who played the priest who married us, and my brother Mike who had one line at the wedding shower of Pat and Chris. And there are so many good friends in the film too: Kathy Griffin and Dave Foley and Kathy Najimy and Tim Stack and Tim Meadows. And the band Ween! We had so much fun together."
Yes. Ween is in this. It still makes me laugh that they show up.
Pat (Sweeney) and Chris (Dave Foley, who continually has played women in nearly every show that he's been part of) have met, found out that they both like to eat and become engaged. Yet Pat can't get her life together, she has a neighbor (Charles Rocket) obsessed with her and an appearance on America's Creepiest People turns her into a celebrity, which causes the couple to break off their engagement. The entire free world then becomes obsessed by whether or not Pat is a man or a woman while Pat tries to get Chris back.
Sweeney didn't want to make the film. She said, "I resisted it completely. I just didn't know how we could make it last for two hours. But 20th Century Fox was really keen; our producer was really keen. So we thought, OK, we'll write the script. And after three months, we fell madly in love with the script. Unfortunately, Fox did not."
This was made by Touchstone Pictures instead of that studio.
It also has an uncredited writer.
Quentin Tarantino.
Playboy: You were hired to do a rewrite of It's Pat. As one now familar with the perspiring androgyne from Saturday Night Live, is Pat a he or a she?
Tarantino: The androgyny aspect is only a part of Pat's appeal. What I love about the character is that Pat is so ******* obnoxious. To tell the truth, I don't know what Pat is. But I know what I want Pat to be: I want Pat to be a girl. There was only one sketch that Julia Sweeney, the actress who plays Pat did on Saturday Night Live that gave a clue to what Pat is. It was the sketch that Pat did with Harvey Keitel. They're stranded on a deserted island and they have sex - and Harvey still doesn't know what Pat is. And the thing is, they kissed in it. At one point they were thinking of taking the kiss out of the sketch. But Harvey, being Harvey, demanded they keep it in, that there'd be no integrity without the kiss. So that was the first time we'd seen Pat in an intimate situation - a smooch. There is a certain way that you hold your head, the way you come in for a kiss. And sitting there, watching it, I thought that Pat didn't kiss like a guy. Pat kissed like a girl.
Sweeney was so upset after this that she never wanted to play the Pat character again. However, she had previously agreed for Pat to be honored as mayor for the day"in West Hollywood on Halloween. She would play Pat one last time on October 31, 1994, but claims that it was "halfhearted and pathetic."
Tales from the Crypt: Dead Wait (1991)
Episode 6, Season 3
TOBE!
"Welcome aboard, fright-seers! Looking for a little hell-iday fun? You've come to the right place! We specialize in all sorts of hackage tours! (cackles) So what will it be? A few days in a scream park? Or would you like me to book you into a nice, quiet dead and breakfast? Or perhaps you'd like to go treasure haunting like my friend, Red. He wants to steal a priceless black pearl in a tasteless tidbit I call: "Dead Wait.""
Red Buckley (James Remar) and his partner Charlie (Paul Anthony Weber) have been planning to steal a black pearl from plantation owner Emilie Duvall (John Rhys-Davies). There's not much time, because the island where Duvall lives is about to be taken over by a revolution. So Red kills Charlies as they argue and decides to get the pearl for himself. He then meets Emilie at a bar - he's pretty sickly, as he's filled with water worms that have carved tunnels through his skin - along with the man's much younger wife Kathrine (Vanity), who seduces the crook and they decide to kill her husband and split the pearl. The problem? Emilie has a worker named Peligre (Whoopi Goldberg) who does voodoo and plans on taking care of Red.
If you're wondering how gross this one is going to get, well, Emilie has swallowed the pearl and Red has to dig through his worm-filled corpse to find it. That's what you get when Tobe Hooper directs! But seriously, this is an intriguing episode.
It was written by Gilbert Adler, who also wrote Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice and directed and wrote Bordello of Blood.
There's also a scene afterward where the Crypt Keeper has a talk show and interviews Whoopi.
Crypt Keeper: Oooh. Talk about being headed off at the pass. We've got a guest, kiddies. Whoopi! It's a pleasure to meet you. I want you to know that I loved your movie The Killer Purple.
Whoopi: That's Color Purple, Crypt Keeper.
Crypt Keeper: Oh! Right. Well, um, congratulations on winning that Academy A-weird.
Whoopi: Well thanks, but it's actually called an Academy Award.
Crypt Keeper: Whatever. Look, it's a pleasure to meet a big star like you.
Whoopi: Now, you're a pretty big star. I mean, I'd love it if you would be in my next film.
Crypt Keeper: Really?
Whoopi: (pulls out a machete) Yeah, it's just a bit part.
Crypt Keeper: I'm flattered!
Whoopi: But you don't know what bit I want.
Crypt Keeper: Well, as long as I don't wind up on the cutting room floor!
Whoopi: (Points the machete at him) Okay!
Crypt Keeper: (Gasps)
Whoopi: (Smiles at the camera)
This episode is based on "Dead Wait!" from Vault of Horror #23. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Davis.
Red Buckley (James Remar) and his partner Charlie (Paul Anthony Weber) have been planning to steal a black pearl from plantation owner Emilie Duvall (John Rhys-Davies). There's not much time, because the island where Duvall lives is about to be taken over by a revolution. So Red kills Charlies as they argue and decides to get the pearl for himself. He then meets Emilie at a bar - he's pretty sickly, as he's filled with water worms that have carved tunnels through his skin - along with the man's much younger wife Kathrine (Vanity), who seduces the crook and they decide to kill her husband and split the pearl. The problem? Emilie has a worker named Peligre (Whoopi Goldberg) who does voodoo and plans on taking care of Red.
If you're wondering how gross this one is going to get, well, Emilie has swallowed the pearl and Red has to dig through his worm-filled corpse to find it. That's what you get when Tobe Hooper directs! But seriously, this is an intriguing episode.
It was written by Gilbert Adler, who also wrote Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice and directed and wrote Bordello of Blood.
There's also a scene afterward where the Crypt Keeper has a talk show and interviews Whoopi.
Crypt Keeper: Oooh. Talk about being headed off at the pass. We've got a guest, kiddies. Whoopi! It's a pleasure to meet you. I want you to know that I loved your movie The Killer Purple.
Whoopi: That's Color Purple, Crypt Keeper.
Crypt Keeper: Oh! Right. Well, um, congratulations on winning that Academy A-weird.
Whoopi: Well thanks, but it's actually called an Academy Award.
Crypt Keeper: Whatever. Look, it's a pleasure to meet a big star like you.
Whoopi: Now, you're a pretty big star. I mean, I'd love it if you would be in my next film.
Crypt Keeper: Really?
Whoopi: (pulls out a machete) Yeah, it's just a bit part.
Crypt Keeper: I'm flattered!
Whoopi: But you don't know what bit I want.
Crypt Keeper: Well, as long as I don't wind up on the cutting room floor!
Whoopi: (Points the machete at him) Okay!
Crypt Keeper: (Gasps)
Whoopi: (Smiles at the camera)
This episode is based on "Dead Wait!" from Vault of Horror #23. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Davis.
Rejuvenatrix (1988)
Needs to be released!
Also known as The Rejuvenator, this forgotten film was inspired by The Wasp Woman. It was directed and co-written by Brian Thomas Jones, along with Simon Nuchtern (who directed the new sequences for Snuff as well as Savage Dawn and Silent Madness). Steven Mackler, who produced this film, had met Jones after he was impressed with the director's short movie Overexposed. Mackler had a deal with Sony Video Software to make three movies and sent him the script for a movie called Skin, which was writtem by Nuchtern.
In an interview with Matty Budrewicz, Jones said, "I read the script and, when I finished, I said to myself "I can't direct this script, but I know how to make this movie. It's Bride of Frankenstein meets Sunset Boulevard! I pitched the concept to Mackler and he let me rewrite it."
As for his changes, he stated, I've never really been a true fan of blood, guts and gore so when I was writing I tried to weave in all these themes of vanity, addiction, obsession and greed. I really wanted to make it my own movie-something really heartfelt and dramatic."
Ruth Warren (Jessica Dublin, who was in Trinity Is Still My Name; So Sweet, So Dead; Fragment of Fear; Sex of the Witch; Death Steps In the Dark and much later Troma's War) is a rich actress who has aged out of leading roles. Dr. Gregory Ashton (John MacKay) has been working for her in an attempt to make her young again. He's running out of time, as she's grown frustrated by a lack of results.
His new formula needs testing but she takes it, amazed at the results and becomes a younger woman by the name of Elizabeth Warren (Vivian Lanko). What she didn't know before she took the formula is that it was based on parts of human brains and she must constantly be given those pieces of mind, so to speak, or she will transform into a monster that is chronically hungry for brains, more brains.
It's never been released on DVD or blu ray, which is shocking when you think that it's exactly the kind of movie that Vinegar Syndrome puts out. It's not just a cheap direct to video film, though. It is filled with heart and characters that you start to care about along with sequences filled with goopy FX that stand up to anything else from the late 80s.
Plus, it has an appearance by the Poison Dollys, an all-female heavy metal band from Long Island. Members Gina Stile, Gail Kenny, Mef Manning and Roulette started as a cover band but added originals as time went on and worked with Kip Winger. One of their songs, "Love Is for Suckers" was recorded by Twisted Sister.
Gina Stile left Poison Dollys to form Envt with her sister Rhonni and was in Vixen from 1997 to 2001. She also played in Ban Animals, a Heart tribute band along with Marco Mendoza, Yngwie Malmsteen drummer John Macaluso and Great White bassist Teddy Cook.
How did I never see Rejuvenatrix until now?
Jones looks back on this movie with some sadness: "I've always been quite disappointed it never got the exposure or recognition I feel it deserved, even though it has developed its fans from those lucky enough to have seen it. The reviews and the fact it did OK on video... I probably should let it go but I'll always hold a grudge for that SVS guy who didn't understand the genre or its fandom and realize the potential of what he had."
In an interview with Matty Budrewicz, Jones said, "I read the script and, when I finished, I said to myself "I can't direct this script, but I know how to make this movie. It's Bride of Frankenstein meets Sunset Boulevard! I pitched the concept to Mackler and he let me rewrite it."
As for his changes, he stated, I've never really been a true fan of blood, guts and gore so when I was writing I tried to weave in all these themes of vanity, addiction, obsession and greed. I really wanted to make it my own movie-something really heartfelt and dramatic."
Ruth Warren (Jessica Dublin, who was in Trinity Is Still My Name; So Sweet, So Dead; Fragment of Fear; Sex of the Witch; Death Steps In the Dark and much later Troma's War) is a rich actress who has aged out of leading roles. Dr. Gregory Ashton (John MacKay) has been working for her in an attempt to make her young again. He's running out of time, as she's grown frustrated by a lack of results.
His new formula needs testing but she takes it, amazed at the results and becomes a younger woman by the name of Elizabeth Warren (Vivian Lanko). What she didn't know before she took the formula is that it was based on parts of human brains and she must constantly be given those pieces of mind, so to speak, or she will transform into a monster that is chronically hungry for brains, more brains.
It's never been released on DVD or blu ray, which is shocking when you think that it's exactly the kind of movie that Vinegar Syndrome puts out. It's not just a cheap direct to video film, though. It is filled with heart and characters that you start to care about along with sequences filled with goopy FX that stand up to anything else from the late 80s.
Plus, it has an appearance by the Poison Dollys, an all-female heavy metal band from Long Island. Members Gina Stile, Gail Kenny, Mef Manning and Roulette started as a cover band but added originals as time went on and worked with Kip Winger. One of their songs, "Love Is for Suckers" was recorded by Twisted Sister.
Gina Stile left Poison Dollys to form Envt with her sister Rhonni and was in Vixen from 1997 to 2001. She also played in Ban Animals, a Heart tribute band along with Marco Mendoza, Yngwie Malmsteen drummer John Macaluso and Great White bassist Teddy Cook.
How did I never see Rejuvenatrix until now?
Jones looks back on this movie with some sadness: "I've always been quite disappointed it never got the exposure or recognition I feel it deserved, even though it has developed its fans from those lucky enough to have seen it. The reviews and the fact it did OK on video... I probably should let it go but I'll always hold a grudge for that SVS guy who didn't understand the genre or its fandom and realize the potential of what he had."