The Ministers (2009) User Reviews (13)

Lord, forgive me for what I am about to watch

[masakiuma · 3/10 · 27 June 2010]

A New York City detective (Celeste - Florencia Lozano) searches for "the ministers," who murdered her father in front of her years ago, and who are still killing. She unwittingly becomes involved with one of the killers (Dante - John Leguizamo).

I came into this movie with low expectations. Nearly every review I saw of it made it look pretty bad, but I will watch pretty much any movie regardless of what the reviewers say. Unfortunately, I ended up having to agree with those reviews.

The acting in this movie just felt really awkward most of the time. Every time Harvey Keitel was on screen it seemed like they just shoved him in front of the camera and threw lines at him without ever letting him see a script. The one scene I'm talking about in particular is when he is crying and begging Celeste to not go...man, it was just embarrassing to watch. John Leguizamo was decent most of the time, but at other times it seemed like he was just goofing around.

The storyline was cluttered and confusing. It really felt like the movie was trying to be a mash-up of Boondock Saints, Se7en, and other crime movies that involve religion. There were too many things going on at once, and none of the elements ended up working.

The ending was HORRIBLE!! I know they were -trying- to be dramatic with it but it just came off seeming un-needed, forced, and cheap. Even if the rest of the movie was passable, the end simply destroys it.

Overall it was an -okay- movie until the ending completely demolishes it.

Final Score - 3/10

Biblical Calling Cards

[bkoganbing · 4/10 · 15 March 2011]

If The Ministers had a point to make, it didn't make it with me. After watching the film, I'm still puzzled as to what exactly it was all about.

Young Florencia Lozano loses her detective father Benny Nieves in what was a hit carried out by two hooded men who have killed before and leave these Bible tracts at the scenes of their crimes. Years later she is now a detective partnered with Harvey Keitel who was her father's partner and her supervising detective is Wanda DeJesus who was trained by Lozano's father.

The two killers known as The Ministers are also accused in the shooting deaths of a whole drug crew, a rather bloody bit of business that Sam Peckinpah would have been glad to choreograph. The two Ministers are played by John Leguizamo in a dual role as twins. One of the twins was badly burned in an apartment house fire as a child.

In fact Leguizamo has a whole agenda of scores to settle, but he also gets himself involved with Lozano, the non-scarred twin that is.

The Ministers has a confused message, a whole lot of violence and not a lot of rational sense to the plot. Seems a terrible waste of a lot of talented people.

Consistenty bad

[siderite · 4/10 · 24 January 2010]

Rarely have I watched a movie that is so consistently bad in every scene; there is not one moment in the whole film that moves beyond bad. Not even a tiny spike. Harvey Keitel plays badly, Florencia Lozano plays badly, John Leguizamo plays badly... twice!

The story is probably recycled from a script back from the 70s and it feels as dated as you can possibly imagine. The only thing modern in the film were the cellphones and there were one or two scenes that featured them. Cops act like they are goons, everybody is Latino, the police work is prehistoric and so on.

Bottom line: avoid this movie at all costs. If you are really bored, try ripping out your own nails, it will be quicker and less painful.

All passions in this film is so many times exploited that you know what will happen in advance.

[dpd-12 · 4/10 · 4 December 2009]

I don't understand why Harvey Keitel agree to act in such primitive film. The film about revenge, police and perverse religiosity, which was so many times used in American films. All passions in this film is so many times exploited that you know what will happen in advance. Franc Reyes takes all Hollywood cliché which must guarantee film success, but indeed he make jumble. Even corrupt police officers were included, but why I didn't understand- no connections, no intrigue, totally nothing. At the beginning , even the film start like all such kind of films (the police officer was killed at sight of daughter and wife... the daughter grew up and become the police officer... and so on) but the film was made in stile of '80 and this fact interest me and in perspective I thought the film can unroll, but...

barrel-scraping psycho-religio thriller

[Buddy-51 · 4/10 · 2 February 2013]

In the flatfooted psycho-religio thriller "The Ministers," John Leguizamo plays Scripture-spouting twin brothers - one with a scarred face for purposes of differentiation - who've made it their life's mission to gun down those responsible for the deaths of their parents and brother, leaving religious tracts with the bodies as calling cards. Florencia Lozano plays a beautiful cop from the Bronx whose father, also a cop, was dispatched by the hood-and-mask-wearing boys years earlier for reasons that aren't entirely revealed till the end.

This Avenging Angel scenario has pretty much been done to death at this point, and "The Ministers" brings nothing new or interesting to the genre. Franc. Reyes is responsible not only for the contrived, melodramatic screenplay and lackluster, pedestrian direction, but also for eliciting some of the worst performances of their careers out of Leguizamo and that crusty, battle-scarred stalwart, Harvey Keitel, as a veteran cop with a secret. After all, with material this lame, it's rather hard to lay too much of the blame at the feet of the actors.

What were they thinking?

[theoneis · 1/10 · 11 January 2010]

I watched this from start to finish. It was painful to say the least. When I saw the performances by John Leguizamo, Florencia Lozano, Wanda De Jesus and have to wonder if these people could even act like they needed to have a bowel movement after a box of laxatives.

I've seen better performances from babies acting like they were hurt throwing a tantrum.

Leguizamo needs to stick with comedy as that seems to be the only avenue that has some semblance of talent for him. To date there isn't a film that comes to mind that Leguizamo has done that is even worth mentioning, much less remembering.

Not A Complete Failure, But Almost

[LeonLouisRicci · 4/10 · 18 October 2013]

Barely Watchable and Almost Average Movie that is a Jumble of Laments on Religion, Revenge, Retribution, Loss, and other Such Things. The Cringe Factor is Close at hand and the Intrigue Waivers while the Sporadic Violence is just there.

What must have at first seemed a Challenge for Leguizamo seems Unattainable as Each Twin is Underplayed as to Their Respective Good/Damaged Characters. The rest of the Cast is Hit and Miss and the Plot, when it doesn't Veer off Course, is Interesting Enough to Maintain some Mild Musings as to Motive and Hidden Realities.

Overall it is not a Complete Failure but doesn't Amount to Much after all is Said and Done. In Fact, the Ending may be the Weakest Part in this Weak Film, although there are some other Vapid Sub-Plots that might also be a Contender.

A Police Story with Potential Ruined by a Messy Screenplay and a Melodramatic Direction

[claudio_carvalho · 6/10 · 28 March 2011]

In New York, Detective Alberto Santana (Benny Nieves) comes with his partner Joseph Bruno (Harvey Keitel) to meet his wife Gina and his daughter Celeste (Gabriella Fanuele) to celebrate her eighteenth birthday. Out of the blue, Alberto is shot in his head on the sidewalk by a man wearing a hood that delivers a religious message from the Lord. Many years later, Celeste (Florencia Lozano) is a detective of the New York Police Department and partner of Joe Bruno.

When the crooks Alden and Jeff Kane, who had torched their buildings to receive the insurance, are released from prison, they are executed by two criminals in the same modus operandi of detective Santana, and the police department concludes that they are the same killers. Lieutenant Diaz (Wanda de Jesus) assigns Detective Manso (Manny Perez) and Detective Demarco (Saul Stein) from narcotics to investigate the case, for the deception of Celeste. Then the drug dealer Chino and his gang are executed in Manhattan's Lower East Side by the killers Dante and his deformed and deranged twin brother Perfecto (John Leguizamo), and Lieutenant Diaz teams up Joe and Celeste with Manso and Demarco. Meanwhile, Dante meets Celeste in the church and they date first and have a love affair. When Perfecto decides to kill Joe, Dante argues with him but the dysfunctional brother does not listen to him.

"The Ministers" is a film with a good police story ruined by a messy screenplay and a melodramatic direction that transforms a gloomy story with great potential in a soap opera. John Leguizamo and Harvey Keitel have reasonable performances, but Florencia Lozano does not convince as a detective and does not show any chemistry with John Leguizamo. This film really deserved Abel Ferrara in the direction. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Justiceiros de Deus" ("Vigilantes of God")

A Frank Reyes Film!

[vilj-1 · 8/10 · 25 January 2010]

When one watches a Frank Reyes film, one knows the movie will be entertaining and there will be plenty of action. Reyes is a disciple of John Singleton. One watches his films for entertainment and for escapism, nothing more. Thirteen years after her father was slain, and now a New York City homicide detective, she (the lead actress) sets out to discover the truth behind the gruesome murder. The movie has a kind of religious theme and is a psychological thriller with a nice arc from start to finish. Great acting from John Leguizamo, Harvey Keitel and Wanda De Jesus, who is a "regular" from Reyes films. Don't analyze every frame, just take it for what it is and sit back and enjoy the film.

Not too bad.

[Bob_the_Hobo · 6/10 · 20 March 2010]

Saw Harvey Keitel on the cover, so it couldn't be all bad right? True. Not all that bad.

John Leguizamo plays dual roles as a pair of brothers who kill for the church, one of which falls in love with the daughter of one of his victims. Harvey Keitel is one of the daughters late fathers friends, who watches over the daughter, who is now a cop.

Acting wasn't bad. Leguizamo is pretty good as the two brothers. The female lead is forgettable, but not awful. Keitel is great as always. The only horrible performance that made my skin crawl was from Wanda de Jesus (as the police captain), that woman can not act.

Not a bad straight to DVD mystery/thriller. I'd check it out if everything else is gone at Blockbuster.

2 John Leguizamos is AT LEAST 1 too many!

[charlytully · 6/10 · 25 May 2011]

It's not like I have a thing against dual roles. For the kids of yesteryear, Patty Duke makes a passable pair of cousins. In the sci-fi puzzler MOON--released within months of THE MINISTERS--Sam Rockwell divided three ways comes off as a heck of a lot richer than the thin gruel provided here when Leguizamo is merely split once. Even the math in this SISTERS wannabe gets fuzzy, as the badder twin's half-baked make-up job smacks of the post-accident district attorney in THE DARK KNIGHT, leaving it up to the viewer to decide if there really are 1 1/2 or 2 1/2 Leguizamos (assuming they are interested enough in this less-than-it-seems-at-first story to do any such calculations in the first place).

One of the main faults of what could have been a better film, besides the shortcomings of the male lead, is that it weakens as it goes along, ending with a seen-coming-from-a-mile-away climax which not only fails to satisfy, but even smacks of the sort of "let's off the crazies in a morally unambiguous way even if it doesn't jive with the first 99% of the movie" which often was required by the Hayes Puritanical Censorship Code in a country allegedly setting the world standard for "Freedom of Speech" from 1934 until 1964.

Gritty

[FiendishDramaturgy · 8/10 · 4 August 2010]

This one is hard to watch. The serious tone of the story line, the edgy dual performance by John Leguizamo, and the dark Christian perspective will not win this work any fans in the Bible-Belt, for sure, but they also factor into the equation of elements adding together to make the viewer cringe and pull back not only from the story, but from the characters. By the time you decide whose side you're on, the movie is over and you're left feeling empty and incomplete from the experience. This is, without a doubt, John Leguizamo's "the Libertine," in that it may well be his best performance ever, and maybe 12 people will see it. I cannot say this film is fabulous, but I will say that John Leguizamo purely shines, so if you're a fan of his work, do yourself a favor and redbox this (at least), but if not, you may want to try "What's the Worst that Could Happen?" instead, wherein he costars with Martin Lawrence and Danny DiVito.

All in all? This is one of those dark obscure pools of goodness whose appreciation calls for a genre-fan, or a fan of the principal actor, to really enjoy the work. Otherwise, you may be disappointed.

I love John Leguizamo, so for me, it rates a 7.6/10 from...

the Fiend :.

Boondock light

[kosmasp · 6/10 · 18 August 2010]

Of course Boondock Saints wasn't the first movie, with people on a "mission", but you kinda feel like this goes a similar way. It also has some other people in it though and does not play for laughs or strays off into another reality. This stays grounded in "our" world, with real problems and some confusion (character and otherwise).

It stays morally ambiguous, which may or may not be a good thing (depending on your view of things, or how you liked the acting. Name checking aside (also character names, see John L. for that), it does not bring completely new things on the table. But what it serves, it serves up pretty good (for a low budget movie that is). Harvey ("Bad Lieutenant") Keitel is always dependable, though John L. seems not at the top of his game. I've seen him do better things, with his roles.