snafux7

The 3 stars I give this are for the gameplay and the beautiful world the game devs created, the writing/story actually deserves negative stars it was so brutally bad.

I'll preface this by noting that I played these games back to back since I missed the initial release of Part I (I had kids and they consumed my life for awhile!). So unlike most people, I played Part I and then immediately started Part II, I was so oumped after the first one to see the sequel! But imagine if you will after the making of Star Wars - A New Hope they made a sequel where Han Solo is killed immediately and Luke's character changes 180 degrees and becomes a soulless killing machine without a shred of his former integrity. Then surround them with a bunch of characters you don't care about in the slightest whether they live or die and add a bunch of random brutality (to humans, not to monsters) and a story that makes no sense, is disjointed and lacks any shred of pacing and you've got this game. Its like the first one was written by a famous screenwirter and the second one by an film school drop out, its really, really bad. They introduce LGBTQ characters into this game as well, but they don't do it in a natural, organic way that makes sense, they shoehorn them in awkwardly and rather than adding to the story and progressing it, they become a plot device they have to write around to make the game, it's clunky and awkward. It's like the writers felt like that addition was more important to the game than the storytelling. The game has lengthy, unskippable cut scenes you are forced to play through that are boring af and ruin the pacing. Part I of the game nothing felt forced and it never dragged or got bogged down, it just flowed beautifully. Part II there is none of this, its just arbitrary parts shoved together with little to no forethought. I was so disappointed.

Forget that the acting is awful, the writing is formulaic and heavy handed...and forget that the main characters are an extremely poor rip off of Aliens, I think what bugged me the most about this movie is that I could never suspend disbelief enough to even enjoy it as a bad movie.

OK, so it's supposed to be this post apocalyptic Earth that is now in a nuclear winter type ice age right? So in one scene they show a guy plunge his arm into a hole in the ice into the freezing water below, he has it submerged maybe 10 secs, when he pulls it out it's frozen rock hard and they need to use this little techno nonsense device to quickly thaw him out. So we're to believe that this specific water is somehow able to approach the temp of liquid nitrogen yet still remain liquid...uh what?

Then literally 15 mins later they're trekking thru an ice storm looking for shelter, they've got all the high tech gear on yet none of them have their faces covered, they all have exposed skin. Hell, I've been on ski hills where you can get frostbite in a couple mins leaving skin exposed, especially with wind chill, but apparently in this frozen wasteland where water is super crazy cold, that doesn't matter.

Remember how you were initially excited to see the Hobbit and then they made this travesty of a trilogy that was a whole movie too long and traded cool CGI and effects for storytelling and pacing? That's exactly how the Last Jedi felt...it was easily an hour too long and rather than tell a story true to the franchise and it's characters they elected to try to force feed you every idiotic original trilogy reference they could, every character and scene forced in regardless of whether they fit or not...I half expected Greedo to make a cameo at some point.

And while it had plenty of action and cool effects there was absolutely no tension or emotion attached to it so you really didn't ever care what happened to the characters. Huge plot holes abound and it seemed like anytime they wrote themselves into a corner they just inserted BB-8 to save the day...so sloppy and lazy.

Finally as many have said, they ruined Luke's character, it's like they never watched that character before the way they wrote him in this episode. This movie wasn't made by Star Wars fans, this movie was made by slick corporate shills at Disney.

Jenji Kohan is the creator behind this show. She's also the creator of Weeds. Remember how awesome Weeds was the first few seasons? It was quirky, funny, unique and clever and it made for some great light TV watching for when you wanted to unwind and turn your brain off for a little while. But remember how it just got worse and worse with each season and all the clever writing and dialogue vanished and it just became a vapid, annoying shadow of it's former self? That's the exact pattern you'll encounter with Orange is the New Black, the key difference being that the decline is vastly accelerated. So by all means watch season 1, but then stop unless you're so stupid and brain dead that you actually enjoy the same recycled crap being fed to you over and over again.

What an absolute disgrace of a film. I almost always watch movies until the end, even when they are bad, but this one was so bad for so long I finally had to turn it off because I was sweating with rage. What a horrible story filled with crappy recycled material from the first two movies, boring 'action' scenes and cardboard cutout characters delivering equally cardboard-like dialogue. Why does this always happen with the great franchises once Disney really gets it's talons into it and sees all those dollar signs hovering in the distance? But why do they do it? That's what I don't understand...they know they're going to make money hand over fist anyway, they know they'll sell tons of merchandise, they'll have themed rides and sets and characters running around Disneyland so why do they have to make such an utterly crappy film? Why not just sit down and produce something really good instead of going for the lamest of possible money grabs? This is the movie that killed it for me, I'll never watch another Pirates movie again, no matter how many they make. For shame Disney, you suck!

All the things that made the original movie such a huge success were abandoned in this outing, instead they opted for tons of special effects and glam and it just felt so trite and boring in comparison. What did you love about the first one? I loved swashbuckling Johnny Depp, creepy pirates, great sword fights, hilarious dialogue and a love story all rolled into one! The second one they just abandoned all that except for when they were recycling the same exact jokes and schtick. The result is an effect-heavy movie where you don't care about the main characters half as much as you did before and every scene and plot twist just becomes more and more tiresome and predictable.

I don't know who the idiots are who are giving this 10/10 but they're the reason Hollywood continues to get away with this scam and ruins franchises

Hollywood's dirty little fingerprints are all over this sad sequel. Everything that made the first movie interesting and unique and compelling was painfully recycled in the sequel. The first half hour was pretty good actually, it seemed to pick up where the first one left off, different story, different characters but with the same noire backdrop and narrative. If I had to guess, the people who started off with this flick wanted to make a great follow up to the original but got screwed over by the studio suits seeking to remake the same movie while 'amping it up' in the process. Virtually all the same characters from the original make at least a cameo in the 2nd one...Why? I still can't figure that out because they contribute absolutely nothing to the story in the slightest. I think the suits decided that the average idiot movie goer likes to see characters that they remember and that's all there was to it. The worst part? It seems that Jessica Alba's agent demanded that she get at least 5 'stripper' scenes in the film so she could show off her assets. That alone wouldn't be the worst thing ever but they also had to give her actual lines and lets face it, she's probably the worst actress in existence today so watching her try to act is excruciating. But even if she was just gyrating on stage it would still have tainted the story because it was just way too much and served zero purpose other than to showcase her. The one high point of the film was that Eva Green wears little to nothing most of her time on screen which is delightful. Sadly it's not enough to save a crap movie.

I was so disappointed by this abortion of a film, I was just hoping for a decent sequel, nothing amazing...and it disappointed virtually every step of the way.

The premise is great, the build up and setup are good too, you really find yourself drawn into the story and cheering for them to get away. But unfortunately as it nears the climax it gets increasingly stupid and poorly written. Their pursuers continue to hit 1-in-100,000 shots picking up their trail to keep the suspense up and eventually it just feels really lame and forced. Had they simply not been so lazy with their writing it would have been a really good movie. To me it reeks of a good screenplay that got hacked by a bunch of Hollywood execs looking to up the action level by 15% when in reality it would have been much better if they just left it alone.

One of the most boring movies I've ever tried to watch. I initially put it on mid-afternoon one day and found myself asleep within 17 minutes. In fact, it was so tedious and exhausting that I slept for the next 12 hours straight and still I awoke feeling groggy and disoriented. I tried watching it again the next day and was unable to pay attention to the story or the characters. That's the key problem of this film, the entire cast could suddenly die and it still wouldn't matter. It's just a horribly boring film with boring, undeveloped characters and nothing going on. I made it about 40 minutes through and then had to turn it off.

Do yourself a huge favor, go watch the first 10-15 mins of The Road Warrior (after the narrator part) and think about what makes it so compelling. I'll give you a big hint, it's because they used to actually practice the craft of storytelling in movies instead of just special effects. After just 15 mins of The Road Warrior you know all you need to know to be completely hooked into the story. More importantly we meet Max and through just a few scenes we get to KNOW Max, both as the requisite underdog bad-ass character but also as a man with compassion in his heart (witness the bond with his dog or the music box that he gives to the little kid). When we KNOW characters in this way, we CARE about them, we identify with them, we root for them, we love them and become completely immersed in their world. That's what makes a good movie, no amount of special effects, explosions or hot chicks in skimpy outfits can supplant that simple fact. And that's the big problem with Fury Road. The characters are one-dimensional cardboard cutouts that we don't care about. After watching the first 20 mins of this steaming pile of crap I still didn't know who any of the main characters really were and I certainly didn't care if they lived or died. Yes it has gorgeous action sequences, cool weapons and explosions oh my! But it's completely bereft of anything that draws you in emotionally and that makes it a huge failure. Add to that a story arc that doesn't make a helluva lot of sense and a baffling disregard for the value of oil (they waste it with abandon even though it's scarcity is why they are fighting in the first place). Unfortunately blockbusters like this are increasingly becoming the norm from Hollywood, I fear we'll get to a point in the not so distant future where nobody even remembers what a good action movie is like.

The 3 stars I give this are generous because I assume the book which it was based on (which I have admittedly not read) was probably at very least a nicely written piece of fluff. This movie adaptation, however, is so heavy handed and excessive that you are never able to suspend disbelief long enough to actually enjoy the characters or the acting. Its hard to hate the actors, they do the best they can with this saccharine-coated turd of a screenplay, but it gets tedious and predictable really quickly and even they cannot save it. It's chalk full of tired stereotypes and recycled tropes and its not engaging in the slightest unless you are weak of mind or heart and are just craving some sappy crap.

As many have noted already, this film is very much a Goonies reboot with elements of ET, Close Encounters, etc thrown in. Pretty much anything Spielberg is associated with these days is shameless saccharine crap and this film is no exception. I can only conclude that he has reached a point in his career where no one has the ca-hones to tell him that his doo doo stinks and that's why he excretes this kinda crap over and over. Also the JJ Abrahms 'grade school' writing style is prevalent throughout (if you've seen that crappy TV show Revolution that he wrote then you'll have a good idea just how much he cares about silly things like continuity, costuming, facts, physics, reality). You have to be willing to suspend disbelief...and logic, common sense and tact to enjoy most of it.

Its not all bad though, its not a terrible movie, its entertaining in its own way, the overall story is pretty good. And it makes for wholesome family fun for movie night if that's what you're after... its just that you get sick of watching the same bag of tricks and tropes recycled over and over again and sadly this one delves into the bag far too deeply and frequently.

I recently watched the whole series (8 episiodes) on Netflix because I was home sick and needed something midless to watch. The Kill Point fit the bill nicely but I had hoped for much more after watching the opening episode. Basically it starts off pretty well, the opening sequence is well done and feels like a good bank heist action movie with an interesting premise (i.e. the bank robbers are all U.S. Marines). But after the first two episodes it rapidly deteriorates into crappy, lazy writing. There's not a single cliché or trope they don't find a way to work into the plot, its really pathetic to watch. Remember the chemistry between Dirty Harry Callahan and his Chief (the whole hard-ass vs. the cop who does things by his own rules theme)? OK well its been forty years and how many iterations have we seen of that since? How bout the scene where the Feds come in and say 'were taking control of this operation now', how many times have you seen that tired old scene played out? So many times that its become a joke. This is the kind of mess that the writing devolves into and it just gets worse as the series progresses. Probably the stupidest thing about the show is that we are expected to believe that these robbers are highly trained Iraqi-war vets from an elite unit who despite firing off 1000s of rounds throughout the course of the series are unable to kill anyone but are systematically taken out by the Pittsburgh SWAT team and a dumpy Donnie Wahlberg, the hostages are even able to disarm the robbers at one point, it just becomes impossible to suspend one's disbelief.

So bottom line is that if you need to kill an afternoon on the couch fighting a bad cold and need some brain-dead programming to watch then this should be just what the doctor ordered, otherwise you can do much better. The first episode or two I'd give a 7 or 8 out of 10, after that, its all 2's and 3's at best.

Let me make it simple for everyone...

If you are a woman (especially if you happen to currently be menstruating) you will positively adore this movie. Just sit back with a glass of zinfandel and a box of tissues and enjoy. It is heavy-handed melodrama and cliché 'character' acting by all the usual female stereotypes but sometimes that isn't always a bad thing. I realize that this probably sounds condescending and insensitive so in advance let me apologize and recognize that everything I say is wrong anyway.

If you are a dude on the other hand I hope and pray for you that you have a 2nd TV located in another room, preferably hooked up to a PS3 or XBOX so that you can properly recalibrate your testosterone level after watching the first 20 mins of this train wreck. It has absolutely nothing of interest to you, trust me. You know that feeling you get when you're alone in a room of women all talking at the same time and you can't leave? Now imagine an hour and a half of that with no respite, every time you think it cannot possibly go any further down the rabbit hole of "I do not give a f$*k" it somehow manages to kick it up a notch.

As an aside, I was born and raised in the Northeast and the vast majority of 'Maine' accents in this film are about on par with the 'British' accents of Natalie Portman and Keanu Reeves, its pretty damn bad.

Personally I think the average woman would give this 8-9 stars and the average guy would give it 1 or 2 so in all fairness I'm splitting the difference, we're it just up to me I'd give it either 1 or 0.

please ignore that idiotic review by Zargablarg, he's quite obviously one of the people the show mocks and is bitter. If you have a slightly twisted and irreverent sense of humor you will really adore this show. Without spoiling anything, the basic premise involves Satan (who's basically an evil moron), his daughter Lucy, (who wants to be a normal girl) and Jesus aka DJ Jesus (pronounced Hey-Zeus) who is dating Lucy. The show is funny in its own right but the deeper commentaries it makes on religion, society, true morals and values is what makes it. Sometimes it borders on retarded, but its always worth it. If you like Moral Orel on adult swim and appreciate its brilliance you should check this out...its not quite in the same league, but its fun nonetheless

I think the sad part for me is that they COULD have made a pretty good movie out of it but once again Lucas decided to ignore the plot and the characters in favor of CGI.

The key difference between this and the previous Indy films is that while the first three had crazy action sequences where Indy manages to escape by the skin of his teeth with a little luck and ingenuity, this edition was just plain ludicrous and impossible to believe. Many of other reviewers point to him surviving the nuclear blast so I won't delve into that any further. Some other scenes that were just ridiculous included: -Indy scrabbling up a stack of boxes in the warehouse, he's halfway up and there are a dozen 'soldiers' with machine guns a few feet away that cant even graze him...I mean really, to me thats just lazy production...have him fool them until he can get a believable distance away or something, sheesh -Indy Jr gets left behind in the high speed jungle car chase by getting caught up in some vines. Meanwhile the chase continues at full speed for at least 2-3 mins yet he still somehow manages to swing from vine to vine and miraculously catch up to them. Even at a modest 30 mph the vehicles would be at least a mile away and widening their lead unless he can somehow swing thru the jungle at an astounding pace. I tried to rationalize this with 'well the kids will like it for the excitement' until I overheard a 9 yr old after the movie asking his Dad how that could possibly have happened...that to me pretty much summed it up -Kate Blanchett's character and the rest of the bad guys were caricatures straight out of an Austin Powers movie...the jumpsuit and all, it was downright embarrassing, completely ruined any suspense in the film. Compare her to Mola Ram from the Temple of Doom, now THAT was a real bad guy! -Like any Indy movie there are a bunch of secrets and hidden chambers, switches, levers and booby traps but sadly they just sorta rushed thru them all in this film, never taking any time to develop the mystery around them and give the audience some time to wonder what might be coming next. It was like playing a video game that you've beaten a dozen times already, you just whiz thru the puzzles without a second thought.

All in all I can't say I hated it because I love the character and the nostalgia factor was high but judged on its own merit alone it was pretty sad and disappointing, wait for the video.

The fact that there are so many reviewers handing this piece of garbage 8 and 9 out of 10s just confirms that the mass population is getting increasingly stupid at an alarming rate. The premise isn't too bad, they could have done a decent job if only they did a little research into basic rocketry. But if you're capable of basic thought its just too hard to suspend your disbelief long enough to sink into the fantasy. I mean all I recall of my high school physics classes would probably fit on half a sheet of paper but even I know that they don't deliver rocket fuel to you in a tanker truck...plus he launches this rocket from his barn which stands a few hundred feet from his farmhouse. Everyone has seen footage of a real rocket launch...whats it look like? Its a huge broiling mass of flame and smoke that engulfs anything anything even remotely in its proximity.

The movie relies on cheap plot devices to try and make you care about the characters and even though I love Billy Bob Thorton I had to struggle to like his character, I just didn't care about any of the characters. Its a PG movie that won't offend your kids but its guaranteed to make them dumber.