I agree with drystyx. Four stars, but maybe for different reasons. First off, I saw the movie on a video sharing site that rhymes with zoo boob. So it was free and there were no commercials. Wow, now that I check the resolution, I see it is 720p, I might move back to the beginning and watch it full-screen. Naahhhh, it really is not worth watching over. I re-watched The Departed last night and no, this is not in the same league. The Departed cost 90 million dollars, this cost two million. So I think this movie is much more like giving John Lennon a tuba and getting some art. You could make 45 of these from the budget for The Departed.
This movie is not Tab Hunter channeling John Waters in Lust in the Dust. It is not Tim Blake Nelson channeling the Coen brothers in Leaves of Grass. I liked both those movies a lot, and they both were way better then this movie, but lets remember: 2 million dollars. Free to watch. In HD.
And it is easy to slag the actors and the script and the special effects, like Crazy King Ludwig pronouncing "This did not please me," but remember, 2 million dollars. Yeah, it was a little forced, like a dating site or community college full of 35-year-olds that know they just have to mate and settle down really soon.
Everybody was a bit too good looking. Maybe not Zoolander ridiculously good looking, but I agree that going with 45-year-old fading stars with some BMI issues might have made for a better movie. I don't watch horror flicks so I didn't know Robert Englund, but when he was introduced it was easy to think "this is the best actor/actress so far."
Sound was good, music was OK, walk and talk, bokeh, its really amazing to me they could make this for 2 million dollars. And two million with a child actor, that will triple your shooting time. Yeah she was precocious and yeah, I would have had her stung to death in the first ten minutes, but mothers watch made-for-TV movies, and there is no better way to keep them tuned in than to put a child in danger.
Everybody says this movie was predictable but I didn't see some of it coming. It was half-way through before it became apparent this was a modified....well, Zombie is such an ugly word, lets say, a reanimation movie. Wow, the black limo just picked up the fluff babe, the surprises never cease. Maybe its a 5 star movie. Ahhh, now that I see she is a government employee, her stiff stilted delivery is quite fitting.
Ahhh ahhh ahhh, a Goldwing with a sidecar, I am so tempted to do 5 stars now. Pride of Marysville Ohio. Oh, the kid is a wasp magnet-- now I really like this movie. If only they had the moral courage to have the priest toss her off a parking deck, this thing would be Palme d'Or material. OK, fluff babe is packing, and she is-- well, enough spoilers. Watch it. Its fun, its free, and its a tuba making art.